The Safeway Chef

So, we had a few of our dear friends around for a bbq and a few bevies, and we were chatting, as you do. I was telling them all about this very annoying fellow at my local Safeway, who dispenses his culinary advice as he checks your grocery items through. He eyes you up as you approach the till and gives your grocery items a knowing look. He glances back at you with a smug look on his face and usually says something like " What do you plan to do with this? Because it won't go well with that, you know. I would try using blah, blah, blah..." Desperately I rack my brain for some retort that will end the judgement and assault on my obviously poor selection of goods. My wit is not always so quick, so I usually just hand over my Safeway card and try to avoid eye contact as to not encourage him further.
But it does not stop with edible items...oh, no! This man has an opinion on everything! I was purchasing Pull Ups from him the other day. He points to the display screen, looks at me snidely, and says " Look at that! That's the tax!" He is obviously looking for a comrade in arms against the new HST, and, as it turns out, I was horrified to see that I was paying a full dollar extra for those Pull Ups. And he would have had me in his camp, but he continued with " But you know they are not taxing adult diapers", he quips, inferring that its a travesty that we should pay tax on a children's item but not an adult item. I must have had an extra cup of tea that morning because I looked him dead in the eye and said " Parents have a choice to use clothe diapers and potty train their kids early.  Senior adults should not have to make that choice. It's a matter of dignity." That seemed to deflate him...if only temporarily.
It turns out that my bff has had the same experience with the same fellow! So we thought we would add a segment to this blog, just for entertainment purposes, called The Safeway Chef. I will not disclose this fellows name, or the location of his work, to protect his identity. We will call him Cliff, as in Cliff Claven. I will make a point of going through his till, rather then avoiding him And I will take my very strange selection of items to him for his perusal, and see what he comes up with. I am thinking zucchini, chocolate sauce and glycerine suppositories...

Change...a good thing!

Recently we purchased a small two bed apartment in the Main St. district and moved ourselves from a three bed with a yard in the Renfrew area. We were excited about our new home purchase and had high hopes for the new neighborhood. But I have to admit I was anxious about the smaller space.  We have moved so many times, and I was not looking forward to the upheaval. I was also nervous about how the kids would react to all the change.
I have read many other blogs and talked with other parents about their autistic children and their reaction to change. I think many parents are reluctant to change anything for fear of a relapse in behaviours, especially if the child has made significant gains.
However, there is a school of thought that change is a good thing for an autistic person. Keeping things the same all the time allows the child to become too attached to a specific routine and environment.

And as we all know, life is just not like that. Change is inevitable.
There are lots of things we can do to make an expected change easier on the autistic child. Many people use picture systems to help their child communicate. This is a great way to start. Making the pictures real is even better (ie; photos of the new house, photos of their favorite toys going into boxes, photos of moving trucks etc.). My child takes these things very literally. If I tell him things are going into a truck, he thinks they are going in a truck now! So I have to choose my words carefully. If we were travelling in the car and I saw a moving truck I would say 'Look at that big truck Matty! Soon we will put your bunk bed in a big truck like that and move it to the Green House!'. Matthew then talked about his bunk bed going in a truck to the Green House for weeks! I used his obsession with transportation, the safety of his bed, and his label for the new home, all to convey excitement in the change to come.

I am more of a 'fly by the seat of my pants' kind of gal, so all the prep and planning seems overwhelming to me. Because our move was a short distance, I took the children to the new house as often as I could leading up to the move. I took them to the local park to play and took them out for treats, like hot chocolate, in the new neighborhood, hoping to sell the big move as a great thing. These activities helped me also, to anticipate the move, organise my mind, and get excited and motivated.
We made sure the kids were well looked after by Grandma and Grandpa during the move. I think using some sort of respite or family care during a big move is really important. I think it can be very traumatic for children to actually watch strange men carry their things out to a truck and be driven away. It is too much to expect them to be quiet and stay in one place while all that is going on.

Before the children came home we made sure their room was put together and organised so they had a safe, familiar room to sleep in the new home. This makes a huge difference to them to have access to all their toys and belongings, beds made, clothes in the dresser. It helps them to feel safe.

Now that we are three weeks into living in our new home I am happy to say the move was totally worth it. We didn't come out of it totally unscathed. Matthew has resumed his sensory chewing behavior, after months of being chew free. Now he is back to chewing his sleeves, pens, wires and whatever else he can stick in his mouth. We had a few weeks of toilet regression, but he seems to be back on track now.

Over all Matthew, and Simon, learn that change is good, and fun! Lets hope the kindergarten transition goes just as smoothly...