Happy Thanksgiving Gluten Free feasting

Today is one of those days when I am trying to do too many things at one time. My mind is on so many different things that it is hard to focus on one blog topic. So, in light that it is coming up Thanksgiving, I will put my attention to all things pumpkin and turkey. Thinking turkey, cold turkey, cold turkey sugar free (a whole other blog post, I think). Thinking pumpkin, pumpkin pie, yummy yummy pumpkin pie. Hmmm, pumpkin pie and sugar free don't really go together.
In my search for a gluten free pumpkin pie recipe I came across a pumpkin pie pudding recipe that is actually very low in sugar, courtesy of Pattycake.ca. I plan to try this recipe out, with a few modifications, for dessert on Turkey Dinner Day. I can't wait to dive into it with a large dollop of unsweetened whipping cream!
http://pattycake.ca/recipes/pattyspumpkinpudding


Most of the time in my family I provide the stuffing, which I make with gluten free bread. It is very simple to do. Just use your favorite stuffing recipe and swap the regular bread with gluten free bread. A trick to a great GF stuffing is the use two or three different types of bread. I like to use store bought bread because they tend to be more dense then the home made variety, therefore it holds together the liquids better. I always use Kinnickinik Rice bread mixed with another variety. Even ends left over from my freezer. I have tried using pre mixed stuffing and I just don't like them. The shelf life is not so great on these products and you can often be left with a rancid oily taste to them. Yuck.
I also like to add nuts and dried fruit, like cranberries to my stuffing, to break up the flavours in the bread. Here is my general recipe modified over the years.

Turkey Stuffing
1/3 cup dried cranberries
1/3 cup macadamia nuts or pecan nuts
12 slices of GF bread, two varieties
1 large onion chopped finely
1 large egg
1/4 cup fresh sage
1 lemon (juice and rind)
Salt and pepper to taste
Apx 1/2 cup chicken stock

Chop the bread up in small cubes. In a blender or food processor mix the remaining ingredients. Add to the bread and mix well. Add more chicken stock if stuffing seems too dry. Stuff the turkey and cook.

If you like a finer texture process the bread cubes into crumbs before adding wet ingredients.


It is really important for people who are very sensitive to gluten to not eat poultry stuffed with regular bread stuffing, even if the stuffing never touches the plate. The juices from the bird flow through the stuffing and back into the bird contaminating the meat with gluten.

One of my tricks for helping Matthew survive a holiday with out contamination is to always offer to make the components of the meal that are usually glutenous. In the past he was such a picky eater that it really would not matter. However these days he is eating more and more variety. We just never know when he is going to want to try something. Having to say no is heartbreaking when everyone else is enjoying the food. I also try to bring alternates that are more attractive to him. For example, he could care less about pumpkin pie, but loves jello. So I bring jello and he just does not notice that he is not eating pumpkin pie.
In the past I have not worried about gravy because he really was resistant to trying it. But this year I might have to provide the provisions for GF gravy, just in case. I like to use Pamela's Pancake and Baking mix to thicken gravy just as you would use regular flour. It really makes the gravy taste fantastic and is a wonderful texture. It does have a tendency to be lumpy so I always just strain the gravy before serving it.

The I pad

Here is a very comprehensive article from SFWeekly, sent on to me from my dear sister, about the i pad and its uses for autism.
I have heard some criticism of toting the i pad as an autism tool. However, our personal experience with the devise has been a very positive one.
Recently Matthew and Paul went to Australia for a visit with the grandparents. The flight itself, and the layovers, are very long and can be arduous with any child, let alone an autistic child. Paul felt the i pad was a life saver. It kept Matthew happy and occupied through out the journey.
My own observation with the i pad has been an increased attention span, increased language specific to his life experience by viewing family photos, and increase in problem solving skills, all of which are important life skills. Perhaps an argument would be that he would acquire these skills naturally as his development progresses. And, although that may be true, I truly believe this technology is helping to speed that process along. In addition I have noticed that Matthew is very calm when using the ipad, making it a useful tool for curtailing his hyper activity.

All in all we are very happy we purchased it, especially since we get to play with it when the kids are in bed!

Here is the article.
http://www.sfweekly.com/2010-08-11/news/ihelp-for-autism/6/

The Safeway Chef

So, we had a few of our dear friends around for a bbq and a few bevies, and we were chatting, as you do. I was telling them all about this very annoying fellow at my local Safeway, who dispenses his culinary advice as he checks your grocery items through. He eyes you up as you approach the till and gives your grocery items a knowing look. He glances back at you with a smug look on his face and usually says something like " What do you plan to do with this? Because it won't go well with that, you know. I would try using blah, blah, blah..." Desperately I rack my brain for some retort that will end the judgement and assault on my obviously poor selection of goods. My wit is not always so quick, so I usually just hand over my Safeway card and try to avoid eye contact as to not encourage him further.
But it does not stop with edible items...oh, no! This man has an opinion on everything! I was purchasing Pull Ups from him the other day. He points to the display screen, looks at me snidely, and says " Look at that! That's the tax!" He is obviously looking for a comrade in arms against the new HST, and, as it turns out, I was horrified to see that I was paying a full dollar extra for those Pull Ups. And he would have had me in his camp, but he continued with " But you know they are not taxing adult diapers", he quips, inferring that its a travesty that we should pay tax on a children's item but not an adult item. I must have had an extra cup of tea that morning because I looked him dead in the eye and said " Parents have a choice to use clothe diapers and potty train their kids early.  Senior adults should not have to make that choice. It's a matter of dignity." That seemed to deflate him...if only temporarily.
It turns out that my bff has had the same experience with the same fellow! So we thought we would add a segment to this blog, just for entertainment purposes, called The Safeway Chef. I will not disclose this fellows name, or the location of his work, to protect his identity. We will call him Cliff, as in Cliff Claven. I will make a point of going through his till, rather then avoiding him And I will take my very strange selection of items to him for his perusal, and see what he comes up with. I am thinking zucchini, chocolate sauce and glycerine suppositories...

Change...a good thing!

Recently we purchased a small two bed apartment in the Main St. district and moved ourselves from a three bed with a yard in the Renfrew area. We were excited about our new home purchase and had high hopes for the new neighborhood. But I have to admit I was anxious about the smaller space.  We have moved so many times, and I was not looking forward to the upheaval. I was also nervous about how the kids would react to all the change.
I have read many other blogs and talked with other parents about their autistic children and their reaction to change. I think many parents are reluctant to change anything for fear of a relapse in behaviours, especially if the child has made significant gains.
However, there is a school of thought that change is a good thing for an autistic person. Keeping things the same all the time allows the child to become too attached to a specific routine and environment.

And as we all know, life is just not like that. Change is inevitable.
There are lots of things we can do to make an expected change easier on the autistic child. Many people use picture systems to help their child communicate. This is a great way to start. Making the pictures real is even better (ie; photos of the new house, photos of their favorite toys going into boxes, photos of moving trucks etc.). My child takes these things very literally. If I tell him things are going into a truck, he thinks they are going in a truck now! So I have to choose my words carefully. If we were travelling in the car and I saw a moving truck I would say 'Look at that big truck Matty! Soon we will put your bunk bed in a big truck like that and move it to the Green House!'. Matthew then talked about his bunk bed going in a truck to the Green House for weeks! I used his obsession with transportation, the safety of his bed, and his label for the new home, all to convey excitement in the change to come.

I am more of a 'fly by the seat of my pants' kind of gal, so all the prep and planning seems overwhelming to me. Because our move was a short distance, I took the children to the new house as often as I could leading up to the move. I took them to the local park to play and took them out for treats, like hot chocolate, in the new neighborhood, hoping to sell the big move as a great thing. These activities helped me also, to anticipate the move, organise my mind, and get excited and motivated.
We made sure the kids were well looked after by Grandma and Grandpa during the move. I think using some sort of respite or family care during a big move is really important. I think it can be very traumatic for children to actually watch strange men carry their things out to a truck and be driven away. It is too much to expect them to be quiet and stay in one place while all that is going on.

Before the children came home we made sure their room was put together and organised so they had a safe, familiar room to sleep in the new home. This makes a huge difference to them to have access to all their toys and belongings, beds made, clothes in the dresser. It helps them to feel safe.

Now that we are three weeks into living in our new home I am happy to say the move was totally worth it. We didn't come out of it totally unscathed. Matthew has resumed his sensory chewing behavior, after months of being chew free. Now he is back to chewing his sleeves, pens, wires and whatever else he can stick in his mouth. We had a few weeks of toilet regression, but he seems to be back on track now.

Over all Matthew, and Simon, learn that change is good, and fun! Lets hope the kindergarten transition goes just as smoothly...

Communication Devices - Help or hinder

Recently my lovely sister in law sent me this article in the Globe&Mail about how the Ipad and Itouch are being used as a less expensive alternative to costly communication devices. I have also heard some schools in Ontario are going to allow these devices in the class room to aid in school work.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/technology/personal-tech/apple/for-autistic-kids-idevices-are-life-changers/article1530164/

I have had my iphone for a year now. I have found it helpful in many situations. My personal experience with the iphone, in regards to children, has been a positive one. I find it can come to good use in situations where a child might be overwhelmed or bored, to prevent behaviour difficulties. For example, eating out at a restaurant, the doctor's office and getting a hair cut. I have loaded my phone up with kid friendly apps to be prepared for such moments. I have found it most helpful when shopping with Matthew. I give him the phone as an incentive for good behaviour. He then just quietly follows me around the store. However, it does have the opposite effect when I have both children with me and they both want the phone!
As a communication device, i.e.; being used to type or use a picture system to help the child communicate, I have limited experience. I have downloaded the icommunicate app. I think if I had this app two years ago it may have been useful. Now that Matthew has more language it is more a digital photo album for him. He does get enjoyment from going through the pictures and naming them off.
Only time will tell if it becomes a useful education tool.
As with any 'screen time', the iphone needs to be monitored and controlled by an adult. Time with the device should be limited, in my opinion.

I would love to start a conversation about this topic. I welcome your comments!

therapy for therapy - part 2

At last we managed to get together with David Loyst for our second day of parenting workshop, after weeks of colds and ear infections had past. Day two was about how to play, interact and get the most out of combined intervention and parenting.

We came with a list of problems we have been having with Matthew, hoping and praying for solutions that would work. Transition times had become a nightmare, bed time, car time, getting dressed, you name it. If there was a time that Matthew could turn into a gong show, he would do it. He starts to giggle, which is the first indication that things are going south, then he starts doing naughty things to get attention. He will go through kitchen cupboards pulling food out, pull all the clothes out of a freshly folded basket of laundry, take toys off his brother, spitting, blowing snot out of his nose, and generally do the opposite of what you want. In the car he would crawl out of his car seat, throw things and pull and poke at Simon, causing screaming that would put Buddha to the test!
By this point I am really quite aware that any behaviour problems with children are actually problems with parents. The only people that need to make changes are the parents, then children will follow. I always felt I was a bit of an expert on the subject after watching numerous Supernanny episodes and reading Baby Whisperer books.  I even felt a little superior at times, taking pride in my 'take no prisoners', firm handed parenting approach. I always felt that we must give children boundaries, show them where the line is, and be swift to discipline when behaviour was undesirable. And for a while Matthew did respond to this approach. He really did like to be shown where the boundaries are. So much so that he will recite them to you while crossing them! But lately the naughty spot was just not cutting it. Something had to change or our heads were going to pop off in frustration.

Obviously, there are holes in my theories. Perhaps the television is not such a great place to get parenting advise. Or maybe it is?? I found myself watching an episode of 'The Dog Whisperer' one rainy Saturday afternoon, while folding my 5th basket of laundry for the day. We don't have a dog, but something was compelling me to watch while Cesaro waved his magic over seemingly uncontrollable animals. It amazed me at how quickly the animal responded to him and how simple his approach was. Be the alpha dog, stay in control, and be calm inside. Change your energy, change your dog. A light bulb went off in my head! This is what David has been talking about! Change your energy, change your child!!

After presenting our list of issues to David he began to lay out some new strategies for us that involved lots of 'face time', the 'divide and conquer' approach, and reinforcement.

'Face Time' is a technique used in the Loyst intervention approach. It involves making yourself the most fun and exciting thing in the room for the child, getting eye contact, using language to make requests, rewarding the child with ultra fun. For example, you might play a game of 'blast off', Matthew's personal favourite game that we created for him. Making sure the room is free of distractions first, then we will throw Matt in the air to land on the sofa singing out BLAST OFF! This usually gets him engaged and wanting more. Then, while making eye contact and engaging him, waiting for him to request verbally, and then rewarding him by throwing him again. The game is modified to include more language, and change the scenerio, as he adapts to the game.
I find this game particularly useful when I see the first signs that Matthew is attention seeking. I play with him for 5 to 10 min, in this fashion, then suddenly he gets an idea in his head and seeks out a box of leggo or a drawing board to hammer out the idea. And, miracle of miracles, he leaves me alone for over an hour! This really only works if I have caught the behaviours in the bud. If I allow the behaviours to escalate there is little that will change the course of the day.

The divide and conquer technique has been a life saver! We have started separating the boys for many routine activities. The best example of this is the bed time routine. Paul will take one child, and I take the other. We alternate children so they do not get attached to routine with one parent. While one child is getting ready for bed, the other child is having valuable one on one time with mommy or daddy. The boys don't have to compete with each other for attention. Both children have responded positively to this change, and it is really nice for Paul and I to have that special time with each child.
The other major thing we did was switch up the daycare days. Each child has a day at home alone with me, while the other child attends daycare. Having this day alone with each child has given me a chance to bond with them and attend to each of their specific needs. Today, for example, I am potty training Simon, a task I have been avoiding for some time for fear that it would derail Matthew's success with the toilet. If Matthew were to see Simon getting extra attention for toileting, or see Simon wetting his pants, he might think it is a good way to get my attention away from Simon to do the same. Having a day with Simon alone allows Simon the space to learn with out interference.

Most of Matthew's attention seeking behaviours can be defused quickly if we have the right energy, act swiftly, and provide reinforcement. Matthew has a preoccupation with buses, so I had some custom stickers made on line, zazzle.com, of various city buses. These special stickers are hugely motivating for him, and provide instant reinforcement. He gets stickers for good bed time behaviour, staying dry and clean all day, or self initiating toileting. Food is also an excellent reinforcer. For the car, I will offer fruit leathers for good behaviour, or he gets to play with the Iphone (another post to elaborate).

A workshop with David Loyst is worth the time and money. He really does listen to the nitty gritty details of your child's behaviour, and his solutions provide tangible results. Our family is much more peaceful and we are seeing positive progression in Matthew week to week.

Therapy for therapy

So, recently my hubby and I signed up for a parent workshop with our autism services main man David Loyst. We should probably have done this workshop two years ago when we first signed on, but with Matthew's heart surgery, and having to move yet again, it was not the best time for us.
We finally decided it was time to do this workshop because Matthew is a different little boy then he was back then. Since his surgery, diet change and effective therapy, he is a new man with a new lease on life. His energy levels are way up, his language is up, and his happiness level is up. So why, you may ask, would be feel now we need a parenting workshop? Well, lets just say, we have difficulty directing Matthew's energy. He is restless and in constant need for attention. if he is not getting direct attention he is looking for a way to get it. It can be frustrating and distracting, to say the least. At first, when Matthew started to show his precocious nature,  we were relieved and excited! Finally, a little boy! It was like Gipetto with Pinoccio! Now we feel like we have Denis the Menis on our hands!
When we started with Loyst Inc, almost two years ago, Trisha, our most excellent team leader and behaviour consultant, instructed us to keep our language simple, and direct. Encouraging Matthew to look us in the eye and use language to have his needs met. We have yet to perfect this after two years, but we do try. I was a bit nervous about doing the workshop. I always get a little nervous when I know I am going to be 'on the spot' about how we do certain things and our parenting approach. I am a little insecure about my obvious lack of certain skills, that are required for 'home making'. I am not very organized, I am totally scatter brained, I easily get overwhelmed, I am very impatient, and I lack energy. I know all about myself and my short comings. I just don't need every one else knowing about all them and being subject to their opinions on it, like they are simple little habits to break.. I am also very insecure about my insecurity. I don't really like people knowing I feel insecure. But, I am always willing to give it a fair go if it means improving Matthew's situation. So I push down my fear and sign up. We are instructed to take video footage of us playing with Matthew one on one.
Well, after day one I am more overwhelmed then ever. Our video footage shows us having difficulty focusing Matthew, Matthew trying to get attention by whinging and rolling around on the floor, and  only really getting his attention with cause and effect games where language is at a minimum. Apparently we need to play with Matthew one on one, in a really energetic, animated fashion, with no distractions (i.e. Super Simon), focusing on eye contact and language. I am thinking, how are we possibly going to do this??

Reality check....
Here is what my morning consisted of...
600 wake up to hear children screaming to be let out of bed, after a typical night of several sleep disturbances courtesy of Super Simon. Children climb all over me while I try and pry my eyes open. Fall back to sleep after Paul takes children to eat breakfast.
630 Paul wakes me to take my shower. The only chance I will have for the rest of the day to take one, to look in the mirror, pee with the door closed, and pull on some clean clothes.
645 stumble to the kitchen only to find Paul on his hands and knees engaged in a heated argument involving milk, waffles, a dish rag, and who smeared snot on his work pants.
700 kiss Paul buy buy and cling to that one last moment of sanity I will have for the rest of the day.
701 swill down some cold tea and a GF waffle (I have not the energy to make myself something healthier that might aid in some weight loss efforts). I quickly check my email while Matthew is in another room. I he sees me on the computer he will want to get on it to watch BC Transit bus videos on Youtube and it will be hours before I can get him off.
702 shrieking and giggling. Must investigate. Children about the hurl themselves off new bunk bed. Stern words. Naughty corner for both.
704 matty giggling as he snorts out half a gallon of mucus and smears it all over himself.
705 Simon whinging and crying because Matthew is getting attention.
710 oops forgot to set the potty beeper! Silly me! set potty beeper for Matt.
711 realise I have to sort out the kids rooms, since erecting new bunk bed on weekend,  so the therapist can do her session with Matthew later. Despite a pile of dishes stacked up like the leaning tower of Pisa, baskets of laundry begging for some attention, and my unmade bed (I hate not making my bed), I set about condensing the mess in the boy's rooms to create a new toy room, where Simon used to sleep.
As I shift items from one room to another small children follow me shifting items from one room to another too. But of course, they are doing the opposite of what I am doing!
I turn around to find Matthew ripping a book. Naughty corner. Simon starts screaming that his train track is broken.
730 Fixing train track in a elaborate double decker kind of way, much to Simon's delight. I hear the familiar sound of toys loudly crashing down the stairs accompanied by the tell tale giggling. Matthew in naughty corner again. I am delighted that my head has not popped off yet.
735 get back to that tidy job.
745 really surprised that i have not been interrupted in 10 min. Check on children. Find Matt laying on the floor with pee stained pants. Off to the potty. Change pants while trying not to scold, be verbal, or give attention. A success! Buffy gets a treat for not reacting!
750 reset potty beeper. Children giggling and screaming. Hanging off the side of bunk bed. Naughty corner for both.
800 Still trying to sort out the rooms. Matty giggling. Find him riffling through cupboard for food and a box of fruit bars in hand. Pry fruit bars out of hand. Screaming and wailing. Threaten time out. Screaming and wailing stops. But giggling prevails as he snorts out another big goober. Wipe nose. Simon comes in crying and whinging, grabbing onto my leg, smearing my pants with goobers, he walks away content. I am a human Kleenex.
810 potty beeper goes off. Take Matty to potty. He has already peed his pants. Loose my head. Scold and threaten to remove all pants from the house until such time he can learn to not pee in them. Failure. Buffy loses treat. Shame for breaking potty training rule # 2.
820 finally get back to the organizing. Hear toys hitting the floor in a familiar, yet disturbing way, accompanied by giggles and shrieks. Find boys taking turns throwing Hot Wheels across the living room dangerously close to glass cabinet. At least they are taking turns! Naughty corner for both
830 realise that I have not peed since waking. Go to bathroom. Hear Matthew giggling (I can hear him because the door is open!), He is on my bed about to throw the contents of a cleaned folded basket of laundry on the floor. Because of my compromised position I can only use my voice to hopefully prevent the inevitable. I bellow out a threat of some sort hoping that I will not have to follow through. Apparently it worked. I just hope my downstairs neighbour does not call social services!

Somewhere in all of this I am supposed to find time to have one on one, play time with Matthew. I am thinking if my day continues on this path, it will not happen. All too often I have days like this.

Miraculously, somewhere around 10 am, all is quiet, all but the Thomas the Tank Engine cd chugging in the back ground. The boys are playing independently and quietly. Do I interrupt this reprieve to start a rouchous game, for Matthew's one on one play time? Or do I lay down on the sofa and pray for world peace? I choose prayer (ok, I was really praying 'please God, please God! 10 more minutes!). It does not last long. I hear Matthew's little feet tromping down the hall way. With his blanky in tow he slides in next to me and settles in for a cuddle. Two minutes later Simon stomps down the hall and the wind gets knocked out of me as he hurls himself on top of us. Matthew giggles in glee, and before you know it, we are all engaged in tickling, nose pinching, and scary dinosaur noises. I decide this is a good time for some directed play. I invent a game called 'blast off' (I am surprised at how easy it is to invent a game for toddlers). I get Simon jumping in my lap, count one two three BLASTOFF! as I throw him into the sofa. Simon easily gets the gist of the game, yelling out 'ONE, TWO, THREE, BLAST OFF! and AGIAN! AGAIN! AGAIN! with every turn.  With Matthew I have to work a little harder. I make him look at me rather then my hands, and make him say 'blast off' before throwing him into the sofa. For years I have been teaching my children to not jump on the sofa and now it is all undone!
But in this moment I realise that I can take what David is saying and modify it for almost any situation. If  I can't find a perfect moment, or create one, then I will just have to find an imperfect moment. I will have to take opportunities where I can find them. I also realise I need to give myself a break and not take an 'all or nothing' approach to things. After all most parents with typical children never have to think about how they play with their children.

Later in the day Sarah, the behaviour consultant is wrapping up her session for the day. She comments that Matthew's language was really up today. I notice later that Matthew is trying to get my attention in a different way. He is coming up close and looking into my eyes with a little grin on his face. After a little prompting from me he says 'blast off'. It may not seem like a big thing, but for a child who can rarely verbalize what he wants, this is pretty major. A small victory for the day! Now if only we can get this potty thing down. After 6 pairs of underpants in one day I am thinking I need to put a washing machine in the bathroom.

resolutions

Well, here we are in a new year! Hallelujah! We are back from a wonderful trip to Australia, our other home, and thrust head first into reality. Work, daycare, cooking, cleaning, planning...you know!

For some of us the New Year is a time to reflect on the past and revise our selves with resolutions for the coming year. Sometimes we want to get fit and thin, in the hopes that being fit and thin will make us more popular or improve our love lives. Some  want to give up some particular vice, like pasta or wine, in hopes of improving ones health. Some just want to make more money so life can be more comfortable. Some of us throw our hands in the air and say 'what ever', nothing will change! And then there are those who find themselves in a perfect state of bliss. Finally everything has fallen into place and life is good! A show of hands? Hmmmm, no one? Really?

Well, Thank God for that! I mean really think about it. If life was perfect what would we work on? What would we do? How would we occupy our minds and expand our spirits? I think we would all suffer a fate worse then death if life suddenly became really easy. We would become shallow, vacuous, self serving shells of human beings. Suddenly our potential for greatness would shrivel up and fall off the proverbial vine. We would be like the little boneless fat people in Walli, floating through space waiting for Earth to become liveable again.
So my thinking is that every problem we encounter in life is an opportunity to step forth into greatness. through every problem we learn something new. We expand and grow. We become better through the process of working out the problem. If we can choose to change our perspectives and look at problems as opportunities for growth, I think we become closer to our true spiritual nature.
Last year was not the best year for me. It was not the worst year either. But it was a shifting year. And it did take the entire year to make the shift. I had problems with myself, problems with friends, problems with family. I spent so much time caring for everyone else and not much time caring for me. I was fighting against the current. There are lots of things I would like to change about myself. So I have resolutions. But the top of the resolution list, and most important, is Acceptance.
If I can truly accept myself then it will not matter if I fulfil my other resolutions to loose weight and be more creative, as I am still loveable, love handles and all. If I accept my children as they are they will always feel loved. If I accept my friends as they are they will always feel comfortable with me. If I accept my life as it is then I will find joy instead of frustration. If I can do this one thing, then all other things become possible.
This is not to say that I won't continue to try and be rich and thin!

Happy New Year!