Bumps and Bruises

New Year, New Beginnings

2012-01-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

I am so happy to be bringing in a new year! My sense of hope and excitement for things to come seems to have bubbled up in surprising verve. A recent trip to Australia must have cleared a few cob webs from my brain!!
This photo was taken at Australia Zoo. Isn't she cute?!!

We had a very tough beginning of the school year with Matthew, which I will reiterate in another post all the details. Needless to say it left me drained, depressed and feeling like my life was forever going to be about fighting the system for Matthew's sake. I can only fight so long before I just crumple up in a pile and give up completely. I don't have endurance that way.
Thankfully my fight actually made changes and things are improving rapidly. whew!

So with this new found hope comes a long list of resolutions. Last year I opted not to write out resolutions feeling more the need to live in a state of acceptance for how things are and feeling like things change enough with out putting pressure on myself to change more.
But this year I feel like I want to make positive changes in my life and create new habits that will benefit my life and my family.

So here it goes:

1. Blog more. One blog post every 6 months does not constitute a blog!
2. Listen more, talk less. As I stated on my Facebook up date I often get myself in trouble with what I say, or how I say it, and I am often left feeling misunderstood.
3. Be less judgemental. This will be tough because I am just so curious about why people do what they do. And, lets face it, I am just too perfect!!
4. Connect - be still, aware, hear God, see God, in all things.
5. Drink less.
6. Eat less.
7. Exercise more.
8. Recycle more.
9. Clean and organize more
10. Create more.
11. Surf the net less.
12. Implement 'sanitation' plan (I will explain this later, to those who are not grossed out enough to read about it)
13. Implement '15 min' plan (see below)
14. Spend less money (my husband will love this!)
15. Have more sex ( my husband will REALLY love this!)

In all seriousness all intentions need a good solid plan in order for them to work. So here is where I explain #13, the '15 min' plan. Years ago my mother in law told me that she heard of a tip where you spend 15 min a day tidying up each room in the house to maintain it. Really she was just trying to get me to clean up!
But I have often used this tip when feeling overwhelmed by the mess. I set the timer for 15 minutes and just stay in one room cleaning, until the timer goes off. I am often amazed by what can be done in 15 min. And I am surprisingly focused when I turn the timer on for myself. When I just watch the clock, I am not as focused. There is something about having to beat the timer that gets me motivated. So I have been thinking of other ways to use the 15 min plan. It could be applied to exercise, cleaning, studying, blogging, reading, meditation or anything that requires a little focus. And it doesn't have to be 15 min. It could be 10 min to start, or if its for exercise it could be for 30 min.
So my plan is to set the timer 4 times a day to help me stay on tasks with the house hold chores, with the exception to the laundry and dish washer which just get done regardless, that is if we want clean undies and dishes to eat with!!

I find this method so effective that I hope to teach it to my kids when they are ready. Hopefully they don't start hiding the timer!!

I wonder if I could apply it to #15???

School issues

2011-05-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

The end of Matthew's first school year is fast approaching. Overall it has been a great school year for Matt. he is learning new things, participating in the class, using more expressive language and has found his own unique way to connect with other children...most of the time.
There are times when things go sideways. Last week was a particularly tough week for Matthew, his teacher and the aids who deal with him. He reverted back to behaviours that we thought were a thing of the past. There were many contributing factors to a tough day; sickness, sub teachers, sub aid workers, a change in school routine. Last week all of these were factors in Matthew's behaviour. As his parent I can list them all and deal with the onslaught of behaviour with an understanding that things will normalize when his routine normalizes, and provide safety, discipline and routine at home.
However, the staff in the school are not always so savvy, and fair enough. They have other children to mind, classes to teach, activities to plan etc. The school can't stop for one wayward child.
Last week I was left with the uneasy feeling that these occurrences with Matthew will become more frequent, behaviour more extreme, and the tolerance for it will become less. It leads me to ask the question ' why does the government pour millions of dollars of funding into autism early intervention treatment, yet not follow it up by providing schools with appropriate training and staffing once early intervention is finished? In Vancouver many schools will not allow private autism therapists to work with in the school. Yet their staff is totally untrained in dealing with autism behaviour issues.
Matthew's school is a wonderful school with fantastic staff. The principal is proactive, the staff are involved and committed, and the support staff is ever steady, kind and supportive. However the staff is already stretched thin with only the bare minimum of special support workers. Very few of them are trained and experienced in behaviour management, let alone autism. Their role in the school is so vitally important, yet they are not trained.
Coincidentally a friend of mine told me of an incident that happened at her child's school in the same week. The autistic child in question has become violent toward other children. The first thought that popped into my head was that this child has been allowed to get away with extreme behaviour because the school staff does not understand that autistic children fully understand that they have gotten away with it. My second thought was how long will it be before I get a call from the school telling me that Matthew has done something harmful to himself or others? At the rate things are going, my guess is next school year, unless things change.

I would love to hear about your thoughts and experiences on this topic.

Fabricoholic

2011-05-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

So, we all know I have a problem with products, yarn and fabric. So I have decided to turn my fabric addiction into something useful. I am attempting to train myself to become a textile designer. I fuss and fuss about on the computer trying to get perfect seamless patterns in Illustrator. But I am still learning. I am sure I will figure it out some day. In the mean time I practice and submit my attempts to the weekly Spoonflower competitions. Here is my latest attempt.

It looks nice as a single image but does not translate well in a print. The frustration for me is that I know how to do this by hand, photo copies, cutting and paste. Learning the computer thing is a whole other animal!

Check out what it looks like on Spoonflower and vote for it. The Black and White contest page should be up.
http://www.spoonflower.com/

sugar free update

2011-04-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to write this update for so long now! Ohhhh my! What a can of worms I opened up with this sugar free thing!
I have fallen of the wagon so many times, and keep trying to climb on. I actually feel like I am being dragged behind the wagon, hog tied!!
It is the hardest thing to over come. I have concluded that there is no overcoming it. We live in a society where sugar is rubbed in our faces every day.
If I did not have to face making all of Matthew's baked goods, I might actually succeed at sugar free. But when I turn up to school and a mom has brought cupcakes to school for their kid's birthday, I always feel that I have to make sure that Matthew has something comparable to eat. And since you can't usually buy a GF cupcake just anywhere, that means I have to make them. Then I have to eat them. Of course no one is holding a gun to my head making me stuff cake down my throat. And no one is making me dip my hand into the kid's easter basket desperately searching for a straggling little chocolate egg. But it gets hard to resist.
There would not have been enough money in the world to hold me back from eating sugar in Paris! What a thought!

Being sugar free means having a huge diet mentality. Maybe when my kids leave home I might actually be successful at this! in the mean time I am going to practice moderation...

Oh, and if I do not say it enough, I have a great husband! xx

Sugar Free - My Spiritual Journey

2011-01-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

Some of you may know that I have been trying out a sugar free diet. This is my second attempt at sugar free in less then 6 months. In September I made my first attempt and lasted a whole month. I dropped 8 lbs and was feeling pretty good. Then the holidays came along and I fell off the wagon. It started with Octoberfest, a month long party extravaganza of family birthdays, and ending with Matthew's birthday mid January. Needless to say I gained back about 6 of those 8 lbs. I was feeling bloated, blocked, depressed, anxious and complicated. I knew why I was feeling this way and what to do about it. So, last Monday I jumped back on the sugar free wagon. Aside from a few glasses of wine, I have done pretty good. My detox symptoms have not been as severe as the first time around. Although I did have an emotional outburst yesterday that I directly blame on the sugar detox.
I know some of you may not understand fully why this is so important for me to do. And I often question that myself. I hope that by sharing this with all of you that you will support me on this journey, and that I will have a written reminder for myself. This is not about losing weight, although I do hope that will be a happy consequence. It is about managing depression, anxiety, and not medicating my emotional discomforts with cookies and chocolate.
I have never been successful on any diet. Most diets require one to limit sugar. But I would still have sugar in my tea and coffee, and whatever lowfat diet foods I thought would help me shed the pounds. But inevitably I would find myself at the bottom of a McDonalds caramel sunday, which I only seem to eat when I am dieting. Other then this pesky problem I am a fairly healthy eater. So I could never figure out why losing weight was so hard for me. I eat breakfast, I eat whole grains, I eat regularly thru the day, I eat salad and lean proteins...why why why does this not work for me?? Sugar.
When I eat just a little sugar, I want more sugar. I will graze all day long looking for sugar. A few M&M's here, a few homemade GF cookies there. A protein shake with just a little sugar for taste, a latte with a little vanilla syrup. Doesn't sound like much, but before I knew it I would find myself at the bottom of that McDonalds sunday or eating the last cookie in a batch. And if there are left over cupcakes from a birthday, well, just picture Cookie Monster!
I can't just eat a little treat here and there and expect that that will satisfy the Cookie Monster inside of me. He will just want more and more. Going sugar free is the only way to quiet the Cookie Monster.
In addition to not being successful at a diet I suffer mild depression on and off. I notice I am more depressive, anxious and frustrated after a few months of regular sugar consumption. This might be one of the reasons many people are depressed after Christmas?!
My sugar addiction started when I was a small child. I would take money from my Dad's coin drawer, go to the store and buy as much candy as I could with the coins I had scrounged up, and sit in the park and eat till I finished the last crumb. I even remember doing this when it was in the middle of winter in Edmonton. I would forage thru the cupboards looking for anything, once biting into a chunk of cooking chocolate only to discover it was not sweetened. I would drink out of syrup containers. I even broke into neighbours houses when I knew they were not home, and eat their cookies!
This behaviour is not normal childhood behaviour. It was what I did to quiet my anxiety. I am sure my parents just thought I was precocious and looking for ways to be naughty. But to my recollection, I just wanted that sweetness and would do anything to get it.

So my friends, if you see me eating a cookie then it is a sign that I am unravelling. This is not a temporary 'fad diet'. This is forever. And I can't tell you how hard that was to write! To forever not eat cake, cookies and chocolate is a frightening prospect right now. It fills me with anxiety. So I am taking it one moment at a time.

Here is an excerpt from a web site I have found truly profound and helpful. I have read Karly's e book and it was pretty much speaking directly to me.

5 Steps to Heal Your Sugar Addiction

August 24, 2009 By Karly Randolph Pitman 5 Comments

Sugar addiction held me in its grip for years, keeping me isolated from the world. When I stopped eating sugar, I gained better health. But, more importantly, I found self respect.

The pain of negative habits isn’t solely from the habits themselves. When I was addicted to sugar, I had extreme bouts of anger and irritability, vacillating blood sugar, yo-yoing weight, and chronic depression. But even more harmful then the physical effects were the spiritual effects: the pain sugar bingeing caused my spirit. No one wants to be addicted. No one wants to feel out of control. No one wants to feel powerless.

What hurt the most weren’t the consequences of my sugar addiction: neither weight gain nor the upset stomach nor the depression. What hurt the most was the cause of my sugar addiction: my inability to care for myself with love, tenderness and respect.

When you act in ways that go against your beliefs, it hurts. If you think that you are a worthy, divine creature, it will hurt when you treat yourself in ways that belie that. Shame and sadness accompany any choice that goes against our values. And shame short circuits self love every time.

That is why it’s necessary to tackle destructive behaviors. Yes, we need to accept ourselves as we are, and that means accepting all of our behaviors, good and bad. But while we start at acceptance, we don’t stop there. It’s very difficult to love and accept ourselves when we’re wallowing in the shame and guilt from treating ourselves unkindly. We need to move to a space where we practice self love and self care, so we feel good from the inside, out.

Great. But how? Transforming these pesky habits can feel like a Catch-22: bad habits feed our low self esteem and feelings of unworthiness; yet, until we change these habits, it’s very difficult to raise our self esteem or feel good about ourselves.

So where do you begin?

1. Acceptance. For me, I had to accept that I couldn’t eat sugar normally. I had to accept that when I eat sugar, I binge on it. This means that I don’t eat birthday cake, Christmas cookies, or ice cream. Accepting this fact about myself was the first step in creating change: for me, abstaining from sugar isn’t deprivation, but evidence of self care and nurturing.

2. Forgiveness. Since the most destructive part of a bad habit is the guilt and shame that usually accompanies it, it’s important to separate the habit from the shame. This is brilliantly discussed inOvercoming Overeating, a guide to freeing yourself from food abuse. If you’re going to overeat, the first step to healing is to bring compassionate awareness to your habit. Accept that you are caring for yourself in a harmful way, and refuse to beat yourself up about it. This is also helpful as you work at healing your habit: you will probably have times when you slip up and fall. That’s okay: drop the guilt.

3. Compassion. Loving yourself means accepting all of who you are – including your bad habits. When you can look at your habits and see how they were an attempt to nurture yourself, you can forgive yourself. As you know better, you do better. Marshall Rosenberg’s work with nonviolent communication is an excellent tool for approaching yourself and others with compassion.

4. Self care. When I have cravings for sugar, I stop to ask myself, “What is really going on here?” Sugar cravings are cravings for comfort, care, rest, and relaxation. They are signals that I’m feeling deprived. The key is to find ways to soothe that deprivation without turning to food. Usually, what I’m really wanting is one of two things: 1. Connection: with God, my spirit, friends, or loved ones, or 2. Comfort: sleep, a recharge (I’m known to push myself too hard), time to myself, or time outside. We call this filling the tank in our home. A walk, a nap, a break from my children, or a crafty activity usually does the trick.

5. Find help. It’s hard to admit that you don’t have it all together. But admitting your need for help softens your heart, so that others can reach in, and offer their support. Counselors, friends, support groups, books, prayer: I’ve used it all.

Ultimately, I am not my habits. You are not your habits, either. Our frailties and stumbling blocks were given to us, on purpose, to feed our growth and development. There are no mistakes; that includes your greatest painful habit. Embrace it as an opportunity to befriend, love and care for the precious creature that is you.

For more support to heal your sugar addiction, you can order the new edition of Overcoming Sugar Addiction as well as the follow up workbook, Growing Human(kind)ness: How to Befriend not Punish Your Way to Sugar Sobriety.

Want more help? Join my October Kick Your Sugar Habit small group class.

Share and enjoy:

A New Year, A New Resolution

2011-01-19T10:44:00.000-08:00

I have recently been told that people do actually read my blog. I am flattered and humbled. It has been a very long time since I updated this blog. So long in fact that I almost lost access to it! Yikes!

I came across a little exercise that I thought was really ingenious. Rather then writing a list of resolutions and goals to try to aspire to, choose a word that represents the kind of change you would like to create in your life.
Unknowingly, I actually did this last year. My word was 'acceptance' and I think some great things came from that exercise. Last year we bought a condo and moved to a smaller space. We had to accept that we could not afford to buy a house in Vancouver, but would have to learn to live in a smaller space. What came was a smaller space in a great neighbourhood with great neighbours.
Matthew started kindergarten and finished his early intervention. I was afraid of letting go of our autism services and struggled against the change a bit. Once I accepted the change I realized Matthew and I were both capable of moving on with less support. We have come a long way!
I have noticed that my face is starting to droop, along with other parts of me, and my waist line continues to grow. I am learning to accept that aging is inevitable and freeing in a way. 40 is around the corner and approaching fast!
I am also trying to accept that I have the power to change my waist line and maintain my own health with in my own hands. I proved this to myself in September when I decided to limit sugar in my diet. I started loosing weight, I noticed my skin looked better and I felt calm and clear. My sugar abstinence did not last thru the holidays and my waistline returned to its normal spare tire size. After the holidays I am feeling tired, depressed and bloated. I know sugar is a problem for me. Accepting that and learning to live with out it will be an on going challenge for me.
The word acceptance came to me at a difficult time when I was struggling with my fears about Matthew's health and future. I realised that I had not accepted that Matthew was different and would need on going special care through out his life. I was blaming myself for his problems and constantly trying to find a 'cure', so to speak. I realised the cure was in acceptance itself. I can not change the past and I can not know the future. I can only accept what is and work to improve what can be changed. When I changed my own mentality things started to fall into place.

Most importantly I learned to accept myself, and others, for who we are. Accepting my own limitations and flaws is allowing me to focus on my strengths and to rely on others to help me in areas where I am weak.

This year my word is going to be FOCUS. This will be a challenge. I am not known for my focus. I find my self wandering around my house aimlessly and standing in a room wondering how I got there and what my purpose was for being there. I find I am thinking about so many things at once that I get overwhelmed. I can never seem to empty a laundry basket or complete an activity. I sometimes find my self blogging when I should be making lunch for the kids!
I have started taking some computer courses and I could use some focus to get through them. I will need focus to apply the new information to some actual work. I will need focus to apply that work and start a small business.

The other word I picked for myself is FINISH. Finish putting the laundry away, finish that knitting project, finish this blog post!! It is pretty self explanatory. And I just have to have a third word...KINDNESS. I need to have kindness for myself if I lose focus and forget to finish!

Happy New Year!

Happy Thanksgiving Gluten Free feasting

2010-10-08T13:17:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days when I am trying to do too many things at one time. My mind is on so many different things that it is hard to focus on one blog topic. So, in light that it is coming up Thanksgiving, I will put my attention to all things pumpkin and turkey. Thinking turkey, cold turkey, cold turkey sugar free (a whole other blog post, I think). Thinking pumpkin, pumpkin pie, yummy yummy pumpkin pie. Hmmm, pumpkin pie and sugar free don't really go together.
In my search for a gluten free pumpkin pie recipe I came across a pumpkin pie pudding recipe that is actually very low in sugar, courtesy of Pattycake.ca. I plan to try this recipe out, with a few modifications, for dessert on Turkey Dinner Day. I can't wait to dive into it with a large dollop of unsweetened whipping cream!
http://pattycake.ca/recipes/pattyspumpkinpudding

Most of the time in my family I provide the stuffing, which I make with gluten free bread. It is very simple to do. Just use your favorite stuffing recipe and swap the regular bread with gluten free bread. A trick to a great GF stuffing is the use two or three different types of bread. I like to use store bought bread because they tend to be more dense then the home made variety, therefore it holds together the liquids better. I always use Kinnickinik Rice bread mixed with another variety. Even ends left over from my freezer. I have tried using pre mixed stuffing and I just don't like them. The shelf life is not so great on these products and you can often be left with a rancid oily taste to them. Yuck.
I also like to add nuts and dried fruit, like cranberries to my stuffing, to break up the flavours in the bread. Here is my general recipe modified over the years.

Turkey Stuffing
1/3 cup dried cranberries
1/3 cup macadamia nuts or pecan nuts
12 slices of GF bread, two varieties
1 large onion chopped finely
1 large egg
1/4 cup fresh sage
1 lemon (juice and rind)
Salt and pepper to taste
Apx 1/2 cup chicken stock

Chop the bread up in small cubes. In a blender or food processor mix the remaining ingredients. Add to the bread and mix well. Add more chicken stock if stuffing seems too dry. Stuff the turkey and cook.

If you like a finer texture process the bread cubes into crumbs before adding wet ingredients.

It is really important for people who are very sensitive to gluten to not eat poultry stuffed with regular bread stuffing, even if the stuffing never touches the plate. The juices from the bird flow through the stuffing and back into the bird contaminating the meat with gluten.

One of my tricks for helping Matthew survive a holiday with out contamination is to always offer to make the components of the meal that are usually glutenous. In the past he was such a picky eater that it really would not matter. However these days he is eating more and more variety. We just never know when he is going to want to try something. Having to say no is heartbreaking when everyone else is enjoying the food. I also try to bring alternates that are more attractive to him. For example, he could care less about pumpkin pie, but loves jello. So I bring jello and he just does not notice that he is not eating pumpkin pie.
In the past I have not worried about gravy because he really was resistant to trying it. But this year I might have to provide the provisions for GF gravy, just in case. I like to use Pamela's Pancake and Baking mix to thicken gravy just as you would use regular flour. It really makes the gravy taste fantastic and is a wonderful texture. It does have a tendency to be lumpy so I always just strain the gravy before serving it.

The I pad

2010-08-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

Here is a very comprehensive article from SFWeekly, sent on to me from my dear sister, about the i pad and its uses for autism.
I have heard some criticism of toting the i pad as an autism tool. However, our personal experience with the devise has been a very positive one.
Recently Matthew and Paul went to Australia for a visit with the grandparents. The flight itself, and the layovers, are very long and can be arduous with any child, let alone an autistic child. Paul felt the i pad was a life saver. It kept Matthew happy and occupied through out the journey.
My own observation with the i pad has been an increased attention span, increased language specific to his life experience by viewing family photos, and increase in problem solving skills, all of which are important life skills. Perhaps an argument would be that he would acquire these skills naturally as his development progresses. And, although that may be true, I truly believe this technology is helping to speed that process along. In addition I have noticed that Matthew is very calm when using the ipad, making it a useful tool for curtailing his hyper activity.

All in all we are very happy we purchased it, especially since we get to play with it when the kids are in bed!

Here is the article.
http://www.sfweekly.com/2010-08-11/news/ihelp-for-autism/6/

The Safeway Chef

2010-07-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

So, we had a few of our dear friends around for a bbq and a few bevies, and we were chatting, as you do. I was telling them all about this very annoying fellow at my local Safeway, who dispenses his culinary advice as he checks your grocery items through. He eyes you up as you approach the till and gives your grocery items a knowing look. He glances back at you with a smug look on his face and usually says something like " What do you plan to do with this? Because it won't go well with that, you know. I would try using blah, blah, blah..." Desperately I rack my brain for some retort that will end the judgement and assault on my obviously poor selection of goods. My wit is not always so quick, so I usually just hand over my Safeway card and try to avoid eye contact as to not encourage him further.
But it does not stop with edible items...oh, no! This man has an opinion on everything! I was purchasing Pull Ups from him the other day. He points to the display screen, looks at me snidely, and says " Look at that! That's the tax!" He is obviously looking for a comrade in arms against the new HST, and, as it turns out, I was horrified to see that I was paying a full dollar extra for those Pull Ups. And he would have had me in his camp, but he continued with " But you know they are not taxing adult diapers", he quips, inferring that its a travesty that we should pay tax on a children's item but not an adult item. I must have had an extra cup of tea that morning because I looked him dead in the eye and said " Parents have a choice to use clothe diapers and potty train their kids early. Senior adults should not have to make that choice. It's a matter of dignity." That seemed to deflate him...if only temporarily.
It turns out that my bff has had the same experience with the same fellow! So we thought we would add a segment to this blog, just for entertainment purposes, called The Safeway Chef. I will not disclose this fellows name, or the location of his work, to protect his identity. We will call him Cliff, as in Cliff Claven. I will make a point of going through his till, rather then avoiding him And I will take my very strange selection of items to him for his perusal, and see what he comes up with. I am thinking zucchini, chocolate sauce and glycerine suppositories...

Change...a good thing!

2010-07-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

Recently we purchased a small two bed apartment in the Main St. district and moved ourselves from a three bed with a yard in the Renfrew area. We were excited about our new home purchase and had high hopes for the new neighborhood. But I have to admit I was anxious about the smaller space. We have moved so many times, and I was not looking forward to the upheaval. I was also nervous about how the kids would react to all the change.
I have read many other blogs and talked with other parents about their autistic children and their reaction to change. I think many parents are reluctant to change anything for fear of a relapse in behaviours, especially if the child has made significant gains.
However, there is a school of thought that change is a good thing for an autistic person. Keeping things the same all the time allows the child to become too attached to a specific routine and environment.

And as we all know, life is just not like that. Change is inevitable.
There are lots of things we can do to make an expected change easier on the autistic child. Many people use picture systems to help their child communicate. This is a great way to start. Making the pictures real is even better (ie; photos of the new house, photos of their favorite toys going into boxes, photos of moving trucks etc.). My child takes these things very literally. If I tell him things are going into a truck, he thinks they are going in a truck now! So I have to choose my words carefully. If we were travelling in the car and I saw a moving truck I would say 'Look at that big truck Matty! Soon we will put your bunk bed in a big truck like that and move it to the Green House!'. Matthew then talked about his bunk bed going in a truck to the Green House for weeks! I used his obsession with transportation, the safety of his bed, and his label for the new home, all to convey excitement in the change to come.

I am more of a 'fly by the seat of my pants' kind of gal, so all the prep and planning seems overwhelming to me. Because our move was a short distance, I took the children to the new house as often as I could leading up to the move. I took them to the local park to play and took them out for treats, like hot chocolate, in the new neighborhood, hoping to sell the big move as a great thing. These activities helped me also, to anticipate the move, organise my mind, and get excited and motivated.
We made sure the kids were well looked after by Grandma and Grandpa during the move. I think using some sort of respite or family care during a big move is really important. I think it can be very traumatic for children to actually watch strange men carry their things out to a truck and be driven away. It is too much to expect them to be quiet and stay in one place while all that is going on.

Before the children came home we made sure their room was put together and organised so they had a safe, familiar room to sleep in the new home. This makes a huge difference to them to have access to all their toys and belongings, beds made, clothes in the dresser. It helps them to feel safe.

Now that we are three weeks into living in our new home I am happy to say the move was totally worth it. We didn't come out of it totally unscathed. Matthew has resumed his sensory chewing behavior, after months of being chew free. Now he is back to chewing his sleeves, pens, wires and whatever else he can stick in his mouth. We had a few weeks of toilet regression, but he seems to be back on track now.

Over all Matthew, and Simon, learn that change is good, and fun! Lets hope the kindergarten transition goes just as smoothly...

Communication Devices - Help or hinder

2010-05-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

Recently my lovely sister in law sent me this article in the Globe&Mail about how the Ipad and Itouch are being used as a less expensive alternative to costly communication devices. I have also heard some schools in Ontario are going to allow these devices in the class room to aid in school work.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/technology/personal-tech/apple/for-autistic-kids-idevices-are-life-changers/article1530164/

I have had my iphone for a year now. I have found it helpful in many situations. My personal experience with the iphone, in regards to children, has been a positive one. I find it can come to good use in situations where a child might be overwhelmed or bored, to prevent behaviour difficulties. For example, eating out at a restaurant, the doctor's office and getting a hair cut. I have loaded my phone up with kid friendly apps to be prepared for such moments. I have found it most helpful when shopping with Matthew. I give him the phone as an incentive for good behaviour. He then just quietly follows me around the store. However, it does have the opposite effect when I have both children with me and they both want the phone!
As a communication device, i.e.; being used to type or use a picture system to help the child communicate, I have limited experience. I have downloaded the icommunicate app. I think if I had this app two years ago it may have been useful. Now that Matthew has more language it is more a digital photo album for him. He does get enjoyment from going through the pictures and naming them off.
Only time will tell if it becomes a useful education tool.
As with any 'screen time', the iphone needs to be monitored and controlled by an adult. Time with the device should be limited, in my opinion.

I would love to start a conversation about this topic. I welcome your comments!

therapy for therapy - part 2

2010-05-05T11:48:00.000-07:00

At last we managed to get together with David Loyst for our second day of parenting workshop, after weeks of colds and ear infections had past. Day two was about how to play, interact and get the most out of combined intervention and parenting.

We came with a list of problems we have been having with Matthew, hoping and praying for solutions that would work. Transition times had become a nightmare, bed time, car time, getting dressed, you name it. If there was a time that Matthew could turn into a gong show, he would do it. He starts to giggle, which is the first indication that things are going south, then he starts doing naughty things to get attention. He will go through kitchen cupboards pulling food out, pull all the clothes out of a freshly folded basket of laundry, take toys off his brother, spitting, blowing snot out of his nose, and generally do the opposite of what you want. In the car he would crawl out of his car seat, throw things and pull and poke at Simon, causing screaming that would put Buddha to the test!
By this point I am really quite aware that any behaviour problems with children are actually problems with parents. The only people that need to make changes are the parents, then children will follow. I always felt I was a bit of an expert on the subject after watching numerous Supernanny episodes and reading Baby Whisperer books. I even felt a little superior at times, taking pride in my 'take no prisoners', firm handed parenting approach. I always felt that we must give children boundaries, show them where the line is, and be swift to discipline when behaviour was undesirable. And for a while Matthew did respond to this approach. He really did like to be shown where the boundaries are. So much so that he will recite them to you while crossing them! But lately the naughty spot was just not cutting it. Something had to change or our heads were going to pop off in frustration.

Obviously, there are holes in my theories. Perhaps the television is not such a great place to get parenting advise. Or maybe it is?? I found myself watching an episode of 'The Dog Whisperer' one rainy Saturday afternoon, while folding my 5th basket of laundry for the day. We don't have a dog, but something was compelling me to watch while Cesaro waved his magic over seemingly uncontrollable animals. It amazed me at how quickly the animal responded to him and how simple his approach was. Be the alpha dog, stay in control, and be calm inside. Change your energy, change your dog. A light bulb went off in my head! This is what David has been talking about! Change your energy, change your child!!

After presenting our list of issues to David he began to lay out some new strategies for us that involved lots of 'face time', the 'divide and conquer' approach, and reinforcement.

'Face Time' is a technique used in the Loyst intervention approach. It involves making yourself the most fun and exciting thing in the room for the child, getting eye contact, using language to make requests, rewarding the child with ultra fun. For example, you might play a game of 'blast off', Matthew's personal favourite game that we created for him. Making sure the room is free of distractions first, then we will throw Matt in the air to land on the sofa singing out BLAST OFF! This usually gets him engaged and wanting more. Then, while making eye contact and engaging him, waiting for him to request verbally, and then rewarding him by throwing him again. The game is modified to include more language, and change the scenerio, as he adapts to the game.
I find this game particularly useful when I see the first signs that Matthew is attention seeking. I play with him for 5 to 10 min, in this fashion, then suddenly he gets an idea in his head and seeks out a box of leggo or a drawing board to hammer out the idea. And, miracle of miracles, he leaves me alone for over an hour! This really only works if I have caught the behaviours in the bud. If I allow the behaviours to escalate there is little that will change the course of the day.

The divide and conquer technique has been a life saver! We have started separating the boys for many routine activities. The best example of this is the bed time routine. Paul will take one child, and I take the other. We alternate children so they do not get attached to routine with one parent. While one child is getting ready for bed, the other child is having valuable one on one time with mommy or daddy. The boys don't have to compete with each other for attention. Both children have responded positively to this change, and it is really nice for Paul and I to have that special time with each child.
The other major thing we did was switch up the daycare days. Each child has a day at home alone with me, while the other child attends daycare. Having this day alone with each child has given me a chance to bond with them and attend to each of their specific needs. Today, for example, I am potty training Simon, a task I have been avoiding for some time for fear that it would derail Matthew's success with the toilet. If Matthew were to see Simon getting extra attention for toileting, or see Simon wetting his pants, he might think it is a good way to get my attention away from Simon to do the same. Having a day with Simon alone allows Simon the space to learn with out interference.

Most of Matthew's attention seeking behaviours can be defused quickly if we have the right energy, act swiftly, and provide reinforcement. Matthew has a preoccupation with buses, so I had some custom stickers made on line, zazzle.com, of various city buses. These special stickers are hugely motivating for him, and provide instant reinforcement. He gets stickers for good bed time behaviour, staying dry and clean all day, or self initiating toileting. Food is also an excellent reinforcer. For the car, I will offer fruit leathers for good behaviour, or he gets to play with the Iphone (another post to elaborate).

A workshop with David Loyst is worth the time and money. He really does listen to the nitty gritty details of your child's behaviour, and his solutions provide tangible results. Our family is much more peaceful and we are seeing positive progression in Matthew week to week.

Therapy for therapy

2010-01-27T16:15:00.000-08:00

So, recently my hubby and I signed up for a parent workshop with our autism services main man David Loyst. We should probably have done this workshop two years ago when we first signed on, but with Matthew's heart surgery, and having to move yet again, it was not the best time for us.
We finally decided it was time to do this workshop because Matthew is a different little boy then he was back then. Since his surgery, diet change and effective therapy, he is a new man with a new lease on life. His energy levels are way up, his language is up, and his happiness level is up. So why, you may ask, would be feel now we need a parenting workshop? Well, lets just say, we have difficulty directing Matthew's energy. He is restless and in constant need for attention. if he is not getting direct attention he is looking for a way to get it. It can be frustrating and distracting, to say the least. At first, when Matthew started to show his precocious nature, we were relieved and excited! Finally, a little boy! It was like Gipetto with Pinoccio! Now we feel like we have Denis the Menis on our hands!
When we started with Loyst Inc, almost two years ago, Trisha, our most excellent team leader and behaviour consultant, instructed us to keep our language simple, and direct. Encouraging Matthew to look us in the eye and use language to have his needs met. We have yet to perfect this after two years, but we do try. I was a bit nervous about doing the workshop. I always get a little nervous when I know I am going to be 'on the spot' about how we do certain things and our parenting approach. I am a little insecure about my obvious lack of certain skills, that are required for 'home making'. I am not very organized, I am totally scatter brained, I easily get overwhelmed, I am very impatient, and I lack energy. I know all about myself and my short comings. I just don't need every one else knowing about all them and being subject to their opinions on it, like they are simple little habits to break.. I am also very insecure about my insecurity. I don't really like people knowing I feel insecure. But, I am always willing to give it a fair go if it means improving Matthew's situation. So I push down my fear and sign up. We are instructed to take video footage of us playing with Matthew one on one.
Well, after day one I am more overwhelmed then ever. Our video footage shows us having difficulty focusing Matthew, Matthew trying to get attention by whinging and rolling around on the floor, and only really getting his attention with cause and effect games where language is at a minimum. Apparently we need to play with Matthew one on one, in a really energetic, animated fashion, with no distractions (i.e. Super Simon), focusing on eye contact and language. I am thinking, how are we possibly going to do this??

Reality check....
Here is what my morning consisted of...
600 wake up to hear children screaming to be let out of bed, after a typical night of several sleep disturbances courtesy of Super Simon. Children climb all over me while I try and pry my eyes open. Fall back to sleep after Paul takes children to eat breakfast.
630 Paul wakes me to take my shower. The only chance I will have for the rest of the day to take one, to look in the mirror, pee with the door closed, and pull on some clean clothes.
645 stumble to the kitchen only to find Paul on his hands and knees engaged in a heated argument involving milk, waffles, a dish rag, and who smeared snot on his work pants.
700 kiss Paul buy buy and cling to that one last moment of sanity I will have for the rest of the day.
701 swill down some cold tea and a GF waffle (I have not the energy to make myself something healthier that might aid in some weight loss efforts). I quickly check my email while Matthew is in another room. I he sees me on the computer he will want to get on it to watch BC Transit bus videos on Youtube and it will be hours before I can get him off.
702 shrieking and giggling. Must investigate. Children about the hurl themselves off new bunk bed. Stern words. Naughty corner for both.
704 matty giggling as he snorts out half a gallon of mucus and smears it all over himself.
705 Simon whinging and crying because Matthew is getting attention.
710 oops forgot to set the potty beeper! Silly me! set potty beeper for Matt.
711 realise I have to sort out the kids rooms, since erecting new bunk bed on weekend, so the therapist can do her session with Matthew later. Despite a pile of dishes stacked up like the leaning tower of Pisa, baskets of laundry begging for some attention, and my unmade bed (I hate not making my bed), I set about condensing the mess in the boy's rooms to create a new toy room, where Simon used to sleep.
As I shift items from one room to another small children follow me shifting items from one room to another too. But of course, they are doing the opposite of what I am doing!
I turn around to find Matthew ripping a book. Naughty corner. Simon starts screaming that his train track is broken.
730 Fixing train track in a elaborate double decker kind of way, much to Simon's delight. I hear the familiar sound of toys loudly crashing down the stairs accompanied by the tell tale giggling. Matthew in naughty corner again. I am delighted that my head has not popped off yet.
735 get back to that tidy job.
745 really surprised that i have not been interrupted in 10 min. Check on children. Find Matt laying on the floor with pee stained pants. Off to the potty. Change pants while trying not to scold, be verbal, or give attention. A success! Buffy gets a treat for not reacting!
750 reset potty beeper. Children giggling and screaming. Hanging off the side of bunk bed. Naughty corner for both.
800 Still trying to sort out the rooms. Matty giggling. Find him riffling through cupboard for food and a box of fruit bars in hand. Pry fruit bars out of hand. Screaming and wailing. Threaten time out. Screaming and wailing stops. But giggling prevails as he snorts out another big goober. Wipe nose. Simon comes in crying and whinging, grabbing onto my leg, smearing my pants with goobers, he walks away content. I am a human Kleenex.
810 potty beeper goes off. Take Matty to potty. He has already peed his pants. Loose my head. Scold and threaten to remove all pants from the house until such time he can learn to not pee in them. Failure. Buffy loses treat. Shame for breaking potty training rule # 2.
820 finally get back to the organizing. Hear toys hitting the floor in a familiar, yet disturbing way, accompanied by giggles and shrieks. Find boys taking turns throwing Hot Wheels across the living room dangerously close to glass cabinet. At least they are taking turns! Naughty corner for both
830 realise that I have not peed since waking. Go to bathroom. Hear Matthew giggling (I can hear him because the door is open!), He is on my bed about to throw the contents of a cleaned folded basket of laundry on the floor. Because of my compromised position I can only use my voice to hopefully prevent the inevitable. I bellow out a threat of some sort hoping that I will not have to follow through. Apparently it worked. I just hope my downstairs neighbour does not call social services!

Somewhere in all of this I am supposed to find time to have one on one, play time with Matthew. I am thinking if my day continues on this path, it will not happen. All too often I have days like this.

Miraculously, somewhere around 10 am, all is quiet, all but the Thomas the Tank Engine cd chugging in the back ground. The boys are playing independently and quietly. Do I interrupt this reprieve to start a rouchous game, for Matthew's one on one play time? Or do I lay down on the sofa and pray for world peace? I choose prayer (ok, I was really praying 'please God, please God! 10 more minutes!). It does not last long. I hear Matthew's little feet tromping down the hall way. With his blanky in tow he slides in next to me and settles in for a cuddle. Two minutes later Simon stomps down the hall and the wind gets knocked out of me as he hurls himself on top of us. Matthew giggles in glee, and before you know it, we are all engaged in tickling, nose pinching, and scary dinosaur noises. I decide this is a good time for some directed play. I invent a game called 'blast off' (I am surprised at how easy it is to invent a game for toddlers). I get Simon jumping in my lap, count one two three BLASTOFF! as I throw him into the sofa. Simon easily gets the gist of the game, yelling out 'ONE, TWO, THREE, BLAST OFF! and AGIAN! AGAIN! AGAIN! with every turn. With Matthew I have to work a little harder. I make him look at me rather then my hands, and make him say 'blast off' before throwing him into the sofa. For years I have been teaching my children to not jump on the sofa and now it is all undone!
But in this moment I realise that I can take what David is saying and modify it for almost any situation. If I can't find a perfect moment, or create one, then I will just have to find an imperfect moment. I will have to take opportunities where I can find them. I also realise I need to give myself a break and not take an 'all or nothing' approach to things. After all most parents with typical children never have to think about how they play with their children.

Later in the day Sarah, the behaviour consultant is wrapping up her session for the day. She comments that Matthew's language was really up today. I notice later that Matthew is trying to get my attention in a different way. He is coming up close and looking into my eyes with a little grin on his face. After a little prompting from me he says 'blast off'. It may not seem like a big thing, but for a child who can rarely verbalize what he wants, this is pretty major. A small victory for the day! Now if only we can get this potty thing down. After 6 pairs of underpants in one day I am thinking I need to put a washing machine in the bathroom.

resolutions

2010-01-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are in a new year! Hallelujah! We are back from a wonderful trip to Australia, our other home, and thrust head first into reality. Work, daycare, cooking, cleaning, planning...you know!

For some of us the New Year is a time to reflect on the past and revise our selves with resolutions for the coming year. Sometimes we want to get fit and thin, in the hopes that being fit and thin will make us more popular or improve our love lives. Some want to give up some particular vice, like pasta or wine, in hopes of improving ones health. Some just want to make more money so life can be more comfortable. Some of us throw our hands in the air and say 'what ever', nothing will change! And then there are those who find themselves in a perfect state of bliss. Finally everything has fallen into place and life is good! A show of hands? Hmmmm, no one? Really?

Well, Thank God for that! I mean really think about it. If life was perfect what would we work on? What would we do? How would we occupy our minds and expand our spirits? I think we would all suffer a fate worse then death if life suddenly became really easy. We would become shallow, vacuous, self serving shells of human beings. Suddenly our potential for greatness would shrivel up and fall off the proverbial vine. We would be like the little boneless fat people in Walli, floating through space waiting for Earth to become liveable again.
So my thinking is that every problem we encounter in life is an opportunity to step forth into greatness. through every problem we learn something new. We expand and grow. We become better through the process of working out the problem. If we can choose to change our perspectives and look at problems as opportunities for growth, I think we become closer to our true spiritual nature.
Last year was not the best year for me. It was not the worst year either. But it was a shifting year. And it did take the entire year to make the shift. I had problems with myself, problems with friends, problems with family. I spent so much time caring for everyone else and not much time caring for me. I was fighting against the current. There are lots of things I would like to change about myself. So I have resolutions. But the top of the resolution list, and most important, is Acceptance.
If I can truly accept myself then it will not matter if I fulfil my other resolutions to loose weight and be more creative, as I am still loveable, love handles and all. If I accept my children as they are they will always feel loved. If I accept my friends as they are they will always feel comfortable with me. If I accept my life as it is then I will find joy instead of frustration. If I can do this one thing, then all other things become possible.
This is not to say that I won't continue to try and be rich and thin!

Happy New Year!

My Top Gluten Free Kid Friendly Products

2009-11-12T16:08:00.000-08:00

Here is my handy dandy list of kid friendly gluten free products. Want to know how to replace Kraft dinner? How about pancakes? All those favourite foods that you think your child will have to give up are actually replaceable with gluten free options. So here are my favourites, and where in Vancouver to buy them!

1. Pamela's Baking and Pancake mix. My all time favourite product. I use this for everything. It makes gorgeous gravy, banana bread, cookies, and of course, pancakes. It does contain butter milk powder so it is not suitable for dairy free diets. The cookie recipe on the back of the package is fool proof. I have found this product at Choices in the pancake section. It is expensive so I often buy it in bulk from Amazon for a few dollars cheaper.

2. Gluten Free Pantry Favourite Sandwich Bread Mix. I make most of Matthew's bread from this mix. It is as easy as making cake from a box. However you will need a high powered mixer, like a Kitchen Aid, because the doe is very thick and sticky. I add extra flax seed meal to this for an Omega 3 punch. It yields a nice big loaf and is fractionally cheaper then buying GF bread. It tastes far better then the frozen varieties. It is worth the little bit of effort. I buy mine at Famous Foods. Some times I buy it in bulk from Amazon.

3. Pamela's Brownie Mix. Great brownies! No one will know the difference! Buy it at Choices.

4. Glutino crackers. These are a great replacement for Ritz crackers. They don't taste the same, but they are the closest to a regular cracker that is out there. I buy them from Price Smart, and sometimes London Drugs has them.

5. Slim Down Rice Crackers from Want Want. These are the best rice crackers. They are super tasty! I buy them from London Drugs, Choices, Famous Foods and Whole Foods.

6. Mi-Del Arrowroot Animal Cookies. These cookies replace animal crackers. They are pretty tasty. They do contain butter so they are not dairy free. I buy these at Choices, Price Smart and Wholefoods.

7. Waffles. There are Natures Path frozen waffles in several varieties and Vans waffles. I recommend trying them out until you find the ones your child likes. I go for the Mesa Sunrise ones from Natures Path because they are a little healthier. But they can be a little dry. You can buy them from Price Smart, Whole Foods, Choices, and Famous Foods.

8. Mrs, Leepers pastas. This pasta is made from corn so it is yellow in colour. It cooks up with out getting mushy. It tastes like tortilla chips. It is high in fibre and protein. The elbow macaroni closely resembles Kraft dinner. You can buy the Kraft dinner packets for the sauce and throw away the pasta. Your child will hardly notice the difference. I buy this at Price Smart.
Just a side note; Annies makes a GF mac and cheese product. I am not a huge fan of it. It is expensive, the pasta is made from white rice which makes it void of any fibre or taste.

9. EnviroKids Crispy Rice bars. My kid loves these! They are a good replacement for rice crispy bars.
You will find these at Price Smart, Whole Foods, and Choices.

10. Natures Path Whole O's are a great replacement for Cheerio's. They are the healthier choice as many gluten free kids cereals are packed with sugar. You will find them at Price Smart, Whole Foods, London Drugs, and Choices.

11. Kinnikinik makes a wide variety of products including breads, English muffins, bagels, and mixes. You can find ready made frozen products in the freezer of the bakery at Safeway. They can also be found in the frozen foods of Price Smart, Whole Foods, Choices and Famous Foods. I keep these breads on hand for convenience, in case I don't get around to making bread. The bagels are tasty and kids love them with jam.

12. Panne Rizzo on Cornwall in Kits makes the nicest rice buns. If I am in the area I always pick some up to keep in the freezer. They make great hamburger buns or garlic bread. I cut them in half because they are pretty big. You can call Panne Rizzo and order these in advance.

13. Pamela's Chocolate Cake Mix. I use this to make cupcakes for special occasions. One packet can make about 24 small cupcakes, so it is good value compared to other mixes. GF cake mixes are tricky. It is hard to get good cake. This is by far the best one I have tried. I always add an extra egg and I add a half cup of vegetable puree, like spinach or sweet potato to add fibre and improve the texture. I always get compliments! In fact, I have made a cake that looks like McQueen out of it!

You could spend a lot of money and time, like I did, trying to find the right products. I hope this list helps to make it a little easier!

Halloween Candy

2009-10-28T16:45:00.000-07:00

It's that chilly and spooky time of year again!! Halloween! For most of us this is a fun time of year filled with parties, dress up and treats.
It can also be a stressful time for those of us with kids on special diets. How do we allow our kids to have a carefree Halloween experience, and keep them safe at the same time?
Firstly, too much sugar for any kid is a bad idea, let alone for children with various brain development issues. Then there are the allergies to contend with.

Here are my ideas on a fun time Halloween without deprivation for any child!

1. Set the ground rules. If your child is old enough, or cognitive enough to understand, explain what foods they are, and are not, allowed to eat. Explain that any candy or treats must be examined by Mom, Dad or teacher first.
If they are not able to make these distinctions themselves then make sure you, or any adult involved in the moment, examines the candy before giving it to your child.

2. Take control. If your child is attending a party where there will be home made foods, as well as packaged candy, then it is important to check the food out yourself. Make a plate up for your child that he is allowed to eat from. Offer to make treats for the party that are safe for every one to enjoy.

3. Get others involved. By this point all child care workers, teachers, friends and family should be aware of your child's diet restrictions. Make a list of safe candy for day care, school, grandparents and others who may be involved in the Halloween experience. And always provide safe alternatives for your child to enjoy.

4. Enjoy the Trick or Treat! It is a lot to ask a small child to not eat candy when they are being handed scads of it at every door! Bring a special treat along for your child to enjoy while trick or treating, so they are not tempted to dip into the pillow case for a fix.

5. Don't trick or treat on an empty stomach. Make sure your child has eaten a healthy, warm meal before hitting the streets. This will lessen the temptation to raid the sack!

6. Place more emphasis on the fun of Halloween, rather then the food. Build up the excitement of dressing up. Get dressed up yourself! Carve pumpkins, hang up spiders and webs, get together with friends and family for a fun time!

7. Do a swap. When your child comes home with their monstrous sack of goodies, go through it with them. Pick out the bad ones and replace them with your own stash of your child's favourite safe candy. Or if you can get your child to agree with it, trade in candy for small toys or money to spend on a bigger toy.

8. Be prepared. Give yourself time to read labels while shopping for candy. Purchase candy to have on hand for day care and school events, so your child does not miss out.

Remember you are not the only family restricted by food. There are so many kids allergic to nuts, eggs, soy, gluten, milk and other foods. They all have to go through the same process to keep their kids safe. Find a friend going through the same thing and make a plan together.

There are numerous lists of safe candy on sites all over the web. I have yet to find one that is specific to Canada, and or to a GFCF diet. Your best bet is to take some time and read all labels. Some tricky candies are Smarties. Smarties seem like they should be GF but they are not.

Some GF candy that I know is GF are:
M&Ms, except Crispy M&Ms
Maynard's Gummies
Hersey's chocolate
Aero
Cadbury's chocolate

Here is a recipe I took from Clean Eating Magazine for Cocoa Coconut fudge, that I modified slightly. This is an easy, no bake, gluten free, dairy free and sugar free (optional) treat! My kids love it and I am addicted to it!

Cocoa Coconut Fudge

1/2 cup coconut butter
1/2 cup honey or maple syrup or 1/4 cup and 1 tblsp agave nectar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup cocoa powder

Soften the coconut butter so it is easier to work with. Mix the syrup or honey in to it, along with the vanilla. Sift the cocoa to remove any lumps and stir into the mix. Pour into an 8x8 pan. You can now decorate the top with anything you want. Nuts, candy, sprinkles. Put into the fridge to set, about 20min.
Makes 16 servings. Must be refrigerated to avoid a messy melted blob.

You can buy coconut butter at Choices, Famous Foods or WholeFoods, along with Agave nectar. These are expensive ingredients but well worth the cost!

Happy Halloween!!

10 Steps to going Gluten Free

2009-10-16T12:39:00.000-07:00

If there was one thing I wish I had when I set out to switch Matthew's diet to gluten free it would be the following lists that I will post over the next week. There is so much information out there on the internet, but despite that, I still didn't know what I needed to know to get the job done without a whole lot of trial and error, and not to mention, money!
It can sometimes be weeks or months before one can get in to see the dietician and acquire the correct information. Even then you may not get the insider info that can be so helpful when changing the diet for a child. Being gluten free for an adult can be challenging, but when you are doing if for a child who is a picky eater, it can be daunting.

The following advise is NOT for a child with a Celiac Disease diagnosis. In this case you must eliminate gluten from your child's diet entirely and immediately. If your child has autism, ADHD, FAS, or other developmental disabilities, and you do not have a celiac diagnosis or testing for celiac disease pending, then you must begin your journey with an investigation.

1. Talk with your child's paediatrician. You might be surprised by the response you get! The paediatrician has a list in your child's file of different issues that may improve with a diet change. If you do not get a favourable response to your inquiry then you have a choice to make. You can go it alone and work to change the doc's mind, or you can look for a new doc. It does help to have the support of the paediatrician to make these changes. He can help you collect the appropriate information to assess whether the diet is making a difference.

2. Start keeping a food journal. If you have not already started a journal for your child, start now. I started keeping journals on and off since Matthew was a baby. Feeding charts, sleep charts and behaviour issues. I admit that I am not the best a keeping this practice up. I have numerous note books around the house with little notes jotted down about various issues we were having. They can be a great resource for you and your child's health care team. Make notes about what your child eats, how much, when, and any behaviours you notice associated with the foods. Personally I think it is important to start keeping this journal about one month before eliminating wheat entirely.

3. Start making a list of your child's favourite wheat foods. This list will be handy to keep in on hand when you go to the grocery store looking for replacements for those foods.

4. Start introducing your child to new gluten free foods. If your child is really picky about food you may want to start with foods that are easy for him to accept, like crackers. Once your child accepts a new GF food, eliminate its wheaty counterpart entirely. You don't want your child remembering how good the old stuff was!

5. Start reading food labels. Next time you go shopping read the labels on your favourite foods. You may be surprised what is in there! If you can find a GF alternative then try it. Watch out for malt, MSG, barley, and barley malt colouring. All these ingredients are wheat based.

6. Start collecting recipes. There are a number of great GF web sites and cook books that offer great child friendly recipes. One of my favourites is the Kid Friendly Autism ADHD Cook Book. This is a great resource for information and some wonderful easy recipes.

7. Do a trial period. Now that you have a number of GF foods your child is eating under your belt you can begin a trial of the diet. A trial period can be anywhere from two weeks to a month. I do not recommend going longer then a month with out making a solid decision. During this time it is really important that you make sure your child is completely gluten free. By the end of two weeks you should have a good idea of any changes that have occurred with your child.

8. Reintroduce the offender. After about two weeks reintroduce wheat for a day. Give your child a wheat serving at every meal. Take notes on your child's reaction. Your child might have a large reaction, or no reaction at all. You may feel you do not need to do this if you have already noticed a reduction in your child's symptoms. We did not do this for Matthew, as we suspected he may have celiac. We noticed his language increased and he was a much happier child. Again I stress, do NOT do this if your child has a Celiac diagnosis!

9. Get educated. If you have decided that you want to continue with a gluten free diet for your child after a trial it is time to really educate yourself about the gluten free lifestyle. It is a lifestyle for sure! Visit www.celiac.ca and www.talkaboutcuringautism.org for advice on what foods to avoid and other food options. You will need to make some changes in your kitchen too. You will need a new GF toaster, baking tins, cutting boards, bread knife, etc., and learn how to keep your child safe from contamination. The TACA site is full of great information on the GFCF diet and how to work it. It also has a great section on picky eaters. Personally, I don't believe autism is curable. I do believe that it can be managed and diet is just one way to make things better for a suffering child.

10. Get your favourite grocery store on board! We are very lucky here in Vancouver to have a great selection of GF options. However not every store will carry every thing you need. I found myself shopping from 5 different stores to get all the little bits! It was a full time job just shopping for Matthew's food, not to mention, expensive. Now I have it down to one main store, and I occasionally visit alternatives if I need some one off item. Save on Foods and Price Smart are the big name chain stores that carry the best selection of GF items. They are very good at bringing in requested items too! I am so pleased with how responsive they have been to my requests.

Here are a few hints for GF grocery shopping:
1. Most GF baked products, including bread, are kept in the frozen foods sections. Ask a manager, rather then a staffer, where you can find these items.
2. Check you labels!
3. Cheerio's, Rice Crispies and Corn Flakes are all coloured and flavoured with barley malt. They are not GF.
4. Watch out for soy sauce,jar sauces, and vinegar's. These often contain wheat.

In a later post I will get more detailed about what items can be found at what stores.

The above advice also can apply to eliminating dairy or any other food that may be causing a problem.

Soccer Dogs

2009-10-04T17:59:00.000-07:00

Soccer Dogs

There have been many times that Matty’s physiotherapist from CFA has insisted that Matthew needs to be involved in some kind of team sport. Every time she says it I think in my mind, “ how is Matt going to play in team sports???” Sure, he loves to kick a ball, he loves to run around, he loves running after other kids…for about 5 minutes. Then his attention span drops off and he starts looking for ways to escape. He might wander off or start spinning around in circles. Or he will get the idea to distract the adults by running off and doing the exact opposite of what they want him to do. I just could not see any kind of team activity going well.

So she sent me some information for Soccer Dogs, and organization for kids with special needs. She told me she has another child on her caseload that just loves it. I had a quick look thru the information and passed some emails back and forth with a woman named Barbara and we were signed up.

So Saturday morning we turned up to the field were we were told to go, at John Oliver School. As we drove up we saw various kids and parents in bright uniforms heading to the meeting spot. Matthew was immediately nervous and overwhelmed and started pulling me back to the car. So I assured him it would be all right and picked him up so he would feel safer. The first person I spoke to as I approached was your typical soccer mom type. Abby was bright and inviting which immediately put me at ease. She pointed me in the direction of Barbara, who was getting every one organized with their uniforms and such. Once we got Matthew into a uniform, which was surprisingly easy, we were introduced to Barry, Matty’s one on one volunteer for the hour. Barry immediately got Matthew engaged with the ball and attempted to take him out to the field for a warm up. Matthew stuck to Paul’s side like glue, so Paul spent the hour on the field with the kids. Future soccer coach, I think! Even though Simon is too young to play he was out there kicking the balls around. There was no way to get him off the field! Soccer Dogs takes kids from age 4 on, but Barbara saw the talent in Simon and said he could play in the spring!

We even ran into some friends!

Once I got my own bearings I was able to take a good look around and see what was going on. There were at least 80 children of various sizes and various abilities, with about 40 volunteers. And every single child was happy and smiling, including Matthew. Not only were the kids smiling, but the parents were relaxed and smiling too. I felt like I had been transported to a world full of angels and that Matthew’s disabilities were immaterial!

There was a game going on between the older kids in the far field, while the younger kids kicked the balls around with the volunteers. There were nets, balls, uniforms, and cleats, all supplied to the kids. All the kids got a snack at the end of the hour and there was coffee for the parents with a small donation. The whole thing was so well organized and much larger then I expected. All we have to do is give a deposit of $50, which we get back at the end of the season.

So now on a lazy Sunday afternoon I am at my computer steeling a few moments away from my family. I have had a chance to go thru the Soccer Dogs web site, which is very well organized and professional looking. I realize as I read about the mom that started it all that ‘typical soccer mom’ is THE mom! Reading Abby’s story of how she came to start Soccer Dogs sent me into tears! I will let you all read if for yourselves. It is a heroic story of how one mom can change things so profoundly while advocating for her own child.

http://soccerdogs.ca/about

So sorry for the poor pictures! But once Matthew sees the camera its all over! So we had to focus on game play, rather then taking good pictures!

Studies that blame mothers

2009-10-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

So, I am watching the news the other night and Kevin Newman from Global is talking about some study done that children of women who work indulge in too much TV and eat too much junk food. This made me feel wild inside! He didn’t elaborate much. The whole piece was all but a minute long. No information about how most families can hardly make due on a double salary income. Or about how kids are unsafe walking on their own in any given neighborhood, so they get picked up in cars rather then walking or taking the bus. Or how about the government has made so many cuts to education the parents have to pick up the slack some how at home…or not, because, after all, mom works.

So lets get down to it. Why not just say moms are making their kids fat and lazy? And when we are looking 20 years down the road and all these kids are obese and hanging out in mom’s basement playing video games, or doing drugs, we can blame it on her again.

I know of plenty of kids who eat too much junk food and watch too much TV and their mom’s don’t work. How about doing that study? How about studying how no matter what moms do their kids are being programmed to want junk food by marketing companies that see obesity as dollars in their pockets? And how every time kids turn on the TV to watch yet another show with emaciated teen-age girls who are made up to look like Pamela Anderson, they are bombarded with food commercials like Pizza Pops and fried chicken? How about doing the study about how the government is not helping mom’s to stay at home with their kids, if they want to, or making quality after school care affordable, or implementing healthy eating initiatives in the schools? How about doing a study on the levels of sugar, fat and salt that have crept their way into the food products we all eat? (Actually I think those studies have been done, but I regress to drama when I am upset)

I grew up in a house with a working mom. I can tell you that I watched very minimal TV and I ate apples and crackers for snacks. There was no pop and there were no bags of chips found in our home. We also did not have Hanna Montana and the Gossip Girls. I walked myself to and from school, as did my siblings. Having a working mom taught me independence and taught me that being a woman is never a good excuse for not accomplishing things in life. It was not all rosy either, but problems are problems regardless of whether a mother works or not.

My parents made a choice every time they went to the grocery store about what food would be available to us for snacks. They made the choice to put the TV in a very small sitting room with only enough room for two people to watch at any given time. They made the choice to not put TV’s in our bedrooms. These are choices based on their priorities as parents. These choices had nothing to do with my mother working. It comes down to family priorities. If health is a priority then mom, AND DAD, will make conscientious choices about the activity levels and foods that their kids eat.

Can we please stop blaming moms for everything? How about supporting women in the work place, and at home, to be the best they can be, rather then grinding them into the ground with studies that blame.

My Autism Disclaimer

2009-09-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

This is a difficult post to write. Not that it is emotional for me, but rather…confusing. There is a lot of talk out there about autism, what causes it, who gets it, and that it is on the rise. There are also those out there that claim autistic children are ‘indigo children’ sent here from the aliens’, or God, to teach us how to really communicate and to prepare us for the end of times. I almost feel like I need a whoopee cushion to read back what I just wrote, for appropriate sound effects.

There is also a large group of people who believe that autism is curable and there are many studies to back the claims for special diets, supplements and detoxing chelating therapies. This same group believes that vaccines cause autism and that mercury is still a key ingredient in the vaccines given to our children, and that mercury poisoning is causing autism.

I want to make it really clear here, that I am not on any side of these issues. I am on Matthew’s side and I am on the side of any parent that feels they need to do whatever they can do the help their child.

I don’t know what causes autism. What I do know is that I have not ever met two autistic children that are the same. What this tells me is that autism may have many causes, many symptoms, and many different outcomes. It occurs to me that maybe what we call autism today is really something else presenting as autism symptoms. I don’t know, I just feel it.

What I do know for sure is that the medical community needs to open their minds to exploring alternatives for children presenting with autistic symptoms. At the time of diagnosis the child needs a plan created specifically to that child that may include biomedical interventions, as well as behavioral interventions. If we discount what the ‘Jenny McCarthy’ group is saying, then we may be missing a key component to helping these children. At the same time it is important for parents to realize that not all children are the same, and they will not all react the same way to biomedical intervention. Therefore it can also be said that they will not all react the same to behavioral intervention either, which is why there are several different approaches on the market to try.

That being said I have included a link for the Talk About Curing Autism web site to my blog. http://www.talkaboutcuringautism.org/index.htm
I decided to include this link because I think this is an excellent recourse for parents wanting to try the GFCF (gluten free dairy free) diet intervention for their child. It is full of great recipes; product lists, and advises on how to work this diet.

Anyone whose child has been diagnosed in Vancouver at Sunny Hill would have been told what we were told. These diets don’t work. Don’t waist your energy, money or time. Personally I think that is terrible advice to give a parent. The better advice to give would be to try the diet; if you feel you need to, for a time. If you see no significant change then go back to they way things were. If you see changes that matter then stick to it religiously. It is just food, not drugs. The worst that can happen is that your kid will like gluten free waffles and you will be stuck buying them until he is on to something else!

When we were given that terrible advice it did stick in my head that there was an alternative. Because to say that these treatments don’t work they had to be mentioned. How silly of Dr. Narrow Mind! Don’t tell a desperate parent that they can’t do something!! I got on the Internet and researched the alternative treatments. In the back of my mind I stored the information, bookmarked what I felt might be relevant to us, and discarded the indigo theory out right! I was keeping mental notes on what Matthew ate, and starting to associate foods with behaviors. But I was afraid. I was afraid of what people would say if I did anything alternative without a significant medical reason.

So it was almost a year later when Matthew was skinnier then a post and heading into an invasive heart surgery, vomiting regularly, and on a wait list to see the gastroentronologist, that I called the pediatrician in a panic. What are we going to do? He will only eat toast and drink milk.

Thankfully our ped is educating himself, to an extent. He gave us the go ahead to try a gluten free diet. The changes we saw in Matt were remarkable. Within 24hrs he was eating more food then he had eaten in a week! He was happier, calmer, less reactive and his language nearly doubled. We have not looked back since. He is not cured, by any means. But he is better.

There have been times when Matthew has grabbed some wheat toast when my back was turned, and I did not see any adverse reactions, other then maybe some unusual stools. But I am not going to experiment with something that made such a remarkable difference to him. Maybe when he is older and can communicate more efficiently we might try putting him on a regualar diet. Life might be easier then. But until such time I am sticking to this gluten free thing.

We did not try the dairy free route because, to be perfectly honest, I just cannot imagine having to manage that when I have a perfectly normal typical child who drinks milk by the gallon. How do I say no to one child, and not the other? How would I balance their specific needs? It is already such a challenge with them being so close developmentally. It is much like having twins, even though they are two years apart. If I could imagine a way to do it, I would certainly try.

This leads me to my conclusion on this subject. Every child, family, and situation is different. Parents should be encouraged to do what they can and not discouraged from trying something that might make a difference. If trying an alternative does not work then you have just narrowed down the list of causes for your child’s condition. And that can only be a good thing.

I feel like there is so much more to write on this topic. I have really only touched the surface.

2009-09-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

When I think of what I would like this blog to be and how I can make that happen I feel totally inadequate, overwhelmed and humbled. Because, even though we have been through so many horrible and scary experiences with our son, Matthew, it is so small compared to what so many other parents struggle with daily. Here are some sobering words from a poem sent to me through the Moms on the Move network.
Some of the content is American based, which just helps me to count my blessings, and be thankful that we have a medical system that does is best to take care of our children, despite cut backs and a lack of medical professionals to go around. I am grateful that I have never had to argue with an insurance company or make a choice between groceries or medical care. I am grateful that I live in a place that understands that our health is more important then national security. And I am grateful that my child continues to improve under watchful care of community workers, health care professionals and government agencies. Some might say that our Canadian systems are not perfect and the government needs to do better. I say lets keep working at that, and at the same time, thank God we live in Canada. Let's pray for a better future for our American neighbours.
I didn't intend to get political in this post...it just happened.

Where are the Parents?

By Sue Stuyvesant

They are on the phone to doctors and hospitals and fighting with insurance companies, wading through the red tape in order that their child's medical needs can be properly addressed.

They are buried under a mountain of paperwork and medical bills, trying to make sense of a system that seems designed to confuse and intimidate all but the very savvy.

Where are the parents?

They are at home, diapering their 15 year old son, or trying to lift their 100 lb. daughter onto the toilet.

They are spending an hour at each meal to feed a child who cannot chew, or laboriously and carefully feeding their child through a g-tube.

They are administering medications, changing catheters and switching oxygen tanks.

Where are the parents?

They are sitting, bleary eyed and exhausted, in hospital emergency rooms, waiting for tests results to come back and wondering: is this the time when my child doesn't pull through?

They are sitting patiently, in hospital rooms as their child recovers from yet another surgery to lengthen hamstrings or straighten backs or repair a faulty internal organ.

They are waiting in long lines in county clinics because no insurance company will touch their child.

Where are the parents?

They are sleeping in shifts because their child won't sleep more than 2 or 3 hours a night, and must constantly be watched, lest he do himself, or another member of the family, harm.

They are sitting at home with their child because family and friends are either too intimidated or too unwilling to help with child care and the state agencies that are designed to help are suffering cut backs of there own.

Where are the parents?

They are trying to spend time with their non-disabled children, as they try to make up for the extra time and effort that is critical to keeping their disabled child alive.

They are struggling to keep a marriage together, because adversity does not always bring you closer.

They are working 2 and sometime 3 jobs in order to keep up with the extra expenses. And sometimes they are a single parent struggling to do it all by themselves.

Where are the parents?

They are trying to survive in a society that pays lip service to helping those in need, as long as it doesn't cost them anything.

They are trying to patch their broken dreams together so that they might have some sort of normal life for their children and their families.

They are busy, trying to survive.

2009-09-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

Ahhh! The farmer’s market! A place brimming with hope and vitality! I just love the idea of sustainable, organic, locally grown food. The sights and sounds of the market are a soothing balm for my overly crowded mind. A place full of possibility, interesting people and interesting food.

However, a farmer’s market can be an absolute nightmere for an autistic child, and his parents. Today was our third attempt in a year to take Matty and Simon to the Trout Lake Farmer’s Market. The last two attempts ended in screaming fits, tears and frustration for all. The only reason today was any different from the other attempts was that we did not take Matty into the market at all. Paul, my dutiful husband, and the boys spent their time in the adjacent playground. After fetching a steaming organic latte for my hubby, I peacefully strolled thru the market soaking up the atmosphere and picked up some organic apples to make a gluten free apple crumble for dessert. All so blissfully domestic and old worldly.

So, what is it about a farmer’s market that is so scary? Well, the dogs for one. Matthew can barely pass a dog with out trying to climb up to the top of one’s body to sit on one’s head to get as far away from the dog as possible.

The unpredicabilty of people weaving from one stall to another, baby strollers breaking from the crowd unexpectedly, loud guitar music from the busker, and the busy energy of the place is all just too much for a child suffering from sensory disorders.

For typical families a morning at the farmer’s market is just par for the course. Nibbling on fresh baked organic cookies, and sipping organic lattes while picking up fresh produce for the evening meal while their sweet young babies snooze in their prams is an experience I have never been able to enjoy.

Any time we have tried to do anything remotely similar is usually ended abruptly by a temper tantrum so intense that people start looking at us wondering if they need to call Child Protective Services! Ok, I am being overly dramatic again, but certainly our first market experience was much like this!

We have made huge progress though! We now know better then to take Matty into the market at all and we head straight for the play ground first. This way he doesn’t have to get overwhelmed. Last year Matthew was not able to visit an unfamiliar playground. He would get worried, cry and want to go home. Now he sees the swings and practically jumps the fence to get in there!

So there is hope that one day he will be able to enter the market and fully enjoy an organic family outing! Can you imagine taking him to the PNE??

So I offer you here a recipe for gluten free apple crumble. This recipe is modified from my mother-inlaw’s version made with wheat flour. I have simply swapped the wheat flour for the gluten free pancake mix. This is NOT a dairy free recipe. To make it dairy free simply replace the butter with dairy free margerine, and use a dairy free gluten free flour mix.

Ruth’s Apple Crumble

Topping

6 tablespoons butter or margerine

6 tablespoons shredded coconut

6 tablespoons brown sugar

2/3 cup gluten free pancake mix (Pamela’s)

Place all above ingredients in a small mixing bowl and with clean hands rub the butter into the mix until it is evenly distributed and crumbly.

Stewed apples

Peel 5-6 med apples

½ cup water

Cook until soft in a small saucepan aprx. 5 to 10 min. Most of the water should be boiled off.

Tip: if using very tart apples add a tablespoon of sugar while cooking apples

Grease an 8X8 baking pan. Pour stewed apples into baking pan. Make sure they are evenly distributed.

Top the apples with the topping mixture making sure to completely cover apples evenly. Bake in the oven at 350 for 30-45 min, or until the topping is golden brown.

Serve warm with vanilla icecream, or dairy free frozen dessert.

Serves 6.

What is in a name?

A little side bar to this post...I heard somewhere that giving food fun names makes eating that food more enticing for children. So, just to prove this point I placed slices of black bell peppers, that I had purchased at the market, on the boy's dinner plates and told them it was 'chocolate peppers'. Simon examined his and decided to feed them to me. Matthew gobbled his up like they were cookies!!

I have made this apple crumble for the boys many times only to have them eat the ice cream off the top and leave the dessert at the bottom of the dish, looking at it like it was a slimey blob of spinach or something. Last night I told them it was 'apple cookie crumble', and with out hesitation, they gobbled it up! The high light of my day!!

Beauty is more then skin deep

2009-09-18T10:52:00.000-07:00

I was going to write my second post on how to introduce your child to a gluten free diet, but then I turned my TV on to the new Dr. Oz show and immediately changed my mind. I have been looking forward to this show since he first announced he was going to do it. I just love Dr. Oz. I love all the gross details about our bodies that he is willing to discuss on television!

His guest today is Tim Gun, the host of Project Runway, and an educator for FIT in NY. Dr. Oz introduced him by saying that how women feel about themselves is so closely linked to how they feel they look. That beauty can make a woman feel better about herself and therefore impact her overall health. I could not agree more! This is what I am all about! Tim was helping women who have gone thru chemotherapy for breast cancer to update their look and get some of their groove back after such an assault on their health.

I spent many years working in the cosmetics industry. What I loved most about the job was getting a women in my chair, teaching her something about how to enhance her beauty, and actually seeing the spark in her eye when she was pleased with what she saw looking back at her in the mirror. I think I actually would get high off this some times. To know that I positively impacted someone’s day and made her feel great about her self was a real trip!

I myself have been trying to give myself a makeover, from the inside out! There have been so many days when I dropped my kids off at pre school after a no sleep night, with bags under my eyes, no makeup, greasy hair and clothes that I pulled from a pile on the floor. I was staying up too late at night watching some frivolous TV, thinking I was having my ‘me’ time. I would lay around during the day thinking I was resting because I didn’t get enough sleep the night before. I would do the bare minimum to get thru the day on survival mode. My hair looked bad, my skin looked bad and I felt bad.

I gave myself permission to give up on myself because looking after my children took so much time and energy. What took me a while to realize is just how intensely my poor care of my self was related to the care of my family. I used to think if I could become more self-sacrificing that I would benefit my family. If I don’t spend money, don’t spend time, don’t spend energy, that there would be more for them.

What I know now is that this is just a big lie. It is time to really understand what ‘looking after yourself ‘ really means. I used to think it meant buying new clothes, wearing make up and getting a massage. But what it should mean is eating right, getting as much sleep as possible (in some other universe, right?), exercise, and most importantly, indulging in something you are passionate about. Wearing a little make up and a new dress doesn’t hurt either! How you treat yourself will teach your children how to treat you, and essentially, how they will treat themselves when they grow up.

My First Post

2009-09-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new blog! This is the very first post for Bumps and Bruises. In this blog you will find a place full of useful, and maybe not so useful, information.

This is a blog for moms. If you have a child with special needs, or allergies, or maybe just typical children in not so typical situations, you may find something here to interest you.

I might not know much about much, but I do know a little about a little! I don’t fancy myself a writer, as many in my family are. The mere thought of writing a blog used to send me into a spiral of self doubt. I come from a line of smarty pants siblings who themselves write blogs, and read really big books with really big words. I have always been more of a practical girl. I like to indulge in hand crafts and I once had aspirations of being a fashion designer. Sometimes I still do and I have fantasies of competing on Project Runway! I am a mom of two little boys. My older boy, Matthew 4 1/2, has many health issues and suffers from ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). His birth sent me on this new journey of learning things I never thought I would know, that most mothers never know. And my younger son, Simon 2 ½ yrs, is as typical as they get. Together they form a formidable team focused on driving their parents insane! And I must say, they are doing a fantastic job of it!

A year ago Matthew had open heart surgery to repair a congenital heart defect. This was a difficult time, but it sparked a fire inside me to reach out and support motherhood. Before this time, and even now on not so good days, I find myself wondering what I was thinking, having children. Why did I sign up up for this constant sacrifice of self? I look in the mirror and see my aging, tired face and barely a flicker of the girl I once was. I have been trying to lose the same 30 pounds for two years. It is rare to get a full night sleep. I am surrounded by clutter and toys, laundry, dishes and a list of ‘to do’s’ as long as my arm.

On good days I remember that little fire inside me, the one that tells me that motherhood is the single most important thing that women can do to change the world. Raising happy, confidant, loving, healthy children ensures a brighter future for the world. So in the spirit of the later, I write this blog to remind myself to stay positive, to focus on what I am good at, giving unsolicited advice, and to leave the the rest by the wayside.

My lofty goal for this blog is to be a place full of information to help moms be moms, and to give encouragement, and sometimes just a little distraction from the every day. My hope is to collect guest writers along the way and to create a community of support for mothers who are stretched thin and feeling weary. There may be recipes, diet tips for children, medical information and thoughts on raising children in difficult circumstances. There may even be some make up tips and ‘find time for yourself’ tips!